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I really like the main melody you've written, especially mm. 4-5. The first variation you go into works quite well I think, I think you should cut down on the arpeggios though. And then once again your lovely melody, I especially like the left hand in mm. 24. The crescendo at mm. 34 could be improved though, I think. There is not enough power in the tremolo in the left hand, I think you need to add more notes to the picture there. And the sf at mm. 37 would have benefited from a unison in my opinion, instead of a pale octave in the left hand. And it goes on, I don't like the variation there neither :P I think there are too many breaks. You have a constant change between climax and build up in mms. 40-43, I would have preferred one long build up instead. Then there's a good crossover to the melody, however I don't like the wide use of arpeggio, and then you go back to the main melody, which I gotta say is very enjoyable :) Good work!

Ummmm....has the competition died? :(

Odd instrumentation, there. You might want to rename those parts generic "background part 1,2,3." Seems like you're going basically for a combo instrumentation, and that's what would be written for. Don't know where you'd ever see 3 trumpets backing one sax. General: the rhythm part makes this sound like the Take 5 spinoff, Take 6 (Take 5 in 6/4). M.11: why not have the all the horns play that long note as a chord? Opening: I'd throw in the chord changes and write on the piano part "ad lib." I get what you're doing, but it's pretty square without some improv. m.29: same thing. Echo the comment on putting in a solo for the sax. I was pretty surprised when there wasn't. Be sure to write in the chord changes. Sax: why is your program using a soprano sax sound? :D Backgrounds: :cool: Pretty sweet. No complaints. Piano: gotta fill out those chords, man. When playing chords on piano, general rule of thumb is four notes, excluding the bass parts played by piano. Your pianist's chords are missing their implied extensions and thus their color. Especially in a modal piece like this. Drums: one staff. Nice job for your first time writing a jazz chart. Keep at it!

I've found that striking key changes are very smooth if the old key is underplayed. For example at m. 24 if you left out the G#, that would sound quite a bit less like a direct modulation. If you turned it into a G natural (seeing as how it's an echo anyway), it'd actually sound like a legitimate modulation, even though it's a modulation of a half-step. The line can serve to fool the ear. 9/10. :phones: No points taken off for "BANG, BANG BANG BANG-BANG!!!"

All in all I found it very nice. Tragedy the notes got banged, but that's a MIDI thing. You do have somethings you might wanna look agt page wise. For example, m. 23 and 24 you have the treble lines with 3 8th notes instead of a dotted quarter rest. While technically right, things like that can look messy. Keep on writing!

Sorry for nitpicking, but Pedal is written Pedal, I believe . I think a treble clef is missing at m. 24 as well. There were some jazzy moments I found quite enjoyable, as well as some weird modulations which broke the usual pop train of thought. When the arpeggios stopped, I really started digging this, though abrupt modulations do get old after a while. Good work overall, I like it. hones:

this sounds fantastic... I can kinda imagine a female jazz singer in the beginning

This is a piano piece I made to reflect sincerity and inarticulateness...at least that's what I had in mind xDI hope you enjoy =) Comments/criticisms/thoughts appreciated! :D Rest, Child, Rest