It is a great piece. I cannot add any suggestions, because others have articulated themselves so well. Keep up the good work.
Not having the schooling that others here have, and only recently beginning to write for more than six instruments at a time. I sometimes like to break up a chord between the different players. say a C chord for 4 measures. Instead of having one instrument play C consequitively, another E etc. I break it up, So that one group is playing
C C C E C C E C C and another instrument plays the complement, so the end result is the same instruments hitting the same # of notes, amount and coverage of notes is the same, it's just that different instruments are 'swapping' notes. I know this is a device to be used sometime.
Since I work with synths mostly, I miss the chorus, flanging, effect of live instruments cause no player hits notes exactly the same as others.
Keep up the good work