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The ability to hear inside your head what's going on without the aid of an instrument, or the computer is something that can be gained little by little with effort and experience... That said, the piano/instrument/computer are all tools that help you hear what you're composing. They are not there to compose instead of you! If you have problems composing this is not because of the tools you're using but because of how your mind works right now. You need to build some confidence. Try something out and then post it here (for example). People will offer valuable feedback and you can take what you feel is worth taking... Then try again, and again. You can't fly before you learn how to run and you can't run before you learn how to walk, and you can't walk before you learn how to crawl and you can't really crawl if you don't know how to breathe...

I think that any critisism might include something useful to take: Even the 'gently caress you Nikolas your music sucks' means that the person posting this doesn't like me one bit and this extends to my music. So it's not about my music, but about myself and since we are social beings and we are public figures, through our music it's worth looking into the reason for that quote... PS. that quote is actually real! :D

Compose using any tool you wish. There's nothing wrong with using software during your writing process; why limit yourself from any available technology that might be beneficial? The instant playback can be useful for some people to get real-time feedback on the sound/structure structure of a piece, however, don't rely on playback as a replacement for solid theory and ear-traning skills.