I don't tell you that you don't deserve to be an artist out of a sincere belief in it. Rather, I would hope that you desire to reaffirm your identity as an artist and reconsider the mindset you are bringing to the situation. I just want you to RESPECT your artform and your artistic agency, as well as the agency of the artists associated with you (i.e. the performer).
I am happy that you have found a satisfying middle ground. I hope it works out well for you, brother!