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This is what happens when you have to write daily pieces and you get bored with writing crap. I'm quite proud of this work, even though it may not be conventional in any sense of the word. I hope you enjoy this one!

This piece was supposed to be an introit or "requiem" movement to a requiem I was writing until I realized I hate writing with established formats (i.e. symphony, sonata, etc.) so this piece remains as is. As such, the final buildup was planned to up an octave and take two phrases instead of one to descend the second time through, but I never wrote a "second time through" so what's here is what's here. Enjoy!

Not a failure in the slightest. I have no issues with the energy within, just the progression thereof. i have no doubts you're capable of doing that either!

Something about the 2 vs. 3 didn't seem totally right to me for some reason. Almost like it was too obvious, maybe play with some levels. It got better as it went along. The reverse Jaws theme (lol) probably could have left that area a little more. Seemed too repetitive. The fast 3/4 section seemed kind of weirdly short to me... like a small addition that didn't seem to add a whole lot. Same with the fast 4/4 section after that. I know what it signifies but each new section should feel more intense and it didn't to me. Basically what I'm saying is that this piece seemed very bridled. With a lot of the tones being kind of in the bass range with a theme that doesn't really develop itself (not to mention a somewhat static dynamic range) it could have been a LOT more angry. What you have is good, but I never got *there*, do you know what I mean. I wanted to listen to this thinking I would be a destroyer of worlds haha, but I didn't quite get there.

I hear a lot of the 2nd Shostakovich waltz (augmented 4th's and all that jazz), but it loses a lot of its charm by not being present enough. It was a great opening, I just wanted more as it went along. Like, I hear percussion later, and different timbres so I get a sense for what you want, but it's never really driven home and sounds continually sparse and a little too laid back. II7 chords were sometimes awkward with a minor 9th passing tone (i.e. 0:36). 0:38 was weird with the double mode mixture with the F vs. F#. Crossed voices at 2:16, I think? A chord tone was a little bit too constant. The entire section from3:26, I see the canon you're trying to introduce but it might work better as a fugal comes rather than a strict canon. It has a lot of great melodies and heart, mainly it just needs a bigger presence; it seems shy right now. Good work!

Very nice melodies! Could you give us more information about the piece. A score would also help to give feedback.

Not exactly my cup of tea, but I can appreciate any type of music which has some thought and effort put into it. And you did a very decent job. To my ears, it might be a bit guitar heavy, some of them.. The kick is fairly bright. and the bass guitar muffled. You have most of the instruments in the mid-range. so it gets a bit congested.. a consideration might be some subtle EQ'ing and wider panning to get more of an aural panorama. I don't know how you recorded this, live instruments, mostly midi etc.. I find that as I work on a piece, and it starts taking shape.. I sometimes will have to substitute some instrument patches, or even move the notes of some parts, so everyone is not hanging out in the same frequency range. Again I KNOW little about this kind of music.. so all of this might not apply.. When tackling a certain style of music.. You Tube is a GREAT tool.. I go and listen to similar pieces of what I am attempting to do. I analyze what they have done. and I try to incorporate some of that, to 'capture' the feel. Sometimes I take a song off Youtube, and put it on two tracks of my piece in my DAW.. I solo individual tracks with the YouTube sound track.. Ignore the clashing tempos, keys, etc Just listen to the sounds of the particular instrument with a piece that you think is really well done.. Does your kick fit in? or does it have too much click, too muddy etc. your bass sound, does it have matching qualities.. hi-hats etc. This is a reference test, and exercise. Doing this will help you tune into the sound of the instruments you are going to use. Try it as an exercise, whether you use your results or not, is not that relevant. But it helps to improve your talent.. Who ever thought Prince could get away with no bass in 'When Doves Cry'.. First 30 seconds of that song hooked me for life to it.. Then I realized there was no bass. I laid it up into my DAW.. I played some bass parts, and really realized.. the song didn't need a bass. The quality and emotion of the song, carried it. The note sparseness let the emotional quality really ring thru. If anything a bass, dragged it down (or at least my bass playing did).. MANY years ago I worked in a multi track tape studio in the 70's in Boston. I was always writing, and recording my own compositions.. I used David Bowie's 'Young Americans' as a song to match my individual drums, keyboard, guitar, etc parts. cause I think sonically it is really well executed.. You find some pieces in your genre and use them as a sonic template. It got me into the "sound" ball park a lot quicker.. Musically I think what you have done is very good, unique. It certainly is dark and moody - A+ for that. I might have liked a stronger ending.. Keep up the good work.. I like what you're doing.. and I'm glad you're here. This particular forum has been gaining steam lately.. There are many really great classical people here. but there's room for us, who are into something different.. The first year, I never ventured out of this forum, (where my music fits).. But lately I've been listening to music that is definitely outside of my comfort zone. and I read some really insightful critiques and comments. And I can figure out ways of how to incorporate some of that into what I do.. There are some very talented people here. and we can learn from them even if their music is different from ours.. It takes some work to translate knowledge gained from their genre and put it into yours.