Not exactly my cup of tea, but I can appreciate any type of music which has some thought and effort put into it. And you did a very decent job.
To my ears, it might be a bit guitar heavy, some of them.. The kick is fairly bright. and the bass guitar muffled.
You have most of the instruments in the mid-range. so it gets a bit congested.. a consideration might be some subtle EQ'ing and wider panning to get
more of an aural panorama. I don't know how you recorded this, live instruments, mostly midi etc.. I find that as I work on a piece, and it starts taking
shape.. I sometimes will have to substitute some instrument patches, or even move the notes of some parts, so everyone is not hanging out in the same frequency range.
Again I KNOW little about this kind of music.. so all of this might not apply.. When tackling a certain style of music.. You Tube is a GREAT tool.. I go and listen to similar pieces of what I am attempting to do.
I analyze what they have done. and I try to incorporate some of that, to 'capture' the feel. Sometimes I take a song off Youtube, and put it on two tracks of my piece in my DAW..
I solo individual tracks with the YouTube sound track.. Ignore the clashing tempos, keys, etc Just listen to the sounds of the particular instrument with a piece that you think is really well done.. Does your kick fit in? or does it have too much click, too muddy etc. your bass sound, does it have matching qualities.. hi-hats etc.
This is a reference test, and exercise. Doing this will help you tune into the sound of the instruments you are going to use. Try it as an exercise, whether you use your results or not, is not that relevant. But it helps to improve your talent..
Who ever thought Prince could get away with no bass in 'When Doves Cry'.. First 30 seconds of that song hooked me for life to it.. Then I realized there was no bass. I laid it up into my DAW.. I played some bass parts, and really realized.. the song didn't need a bass. The quality and emotion of the song, carried it. The note sparseness let the emotional quality really ring thru. If anything a bass, dragged it down (or at least my bass playing did)..
MANY years ago I worked in a multi track tape studio in the 70's in Boston. I was always writing, and recording my own compositions.. I used David Bowie's 'Young Americans' as a song to match my individual drums, keyboard, guitar, etc parts. cause I think sonically it is really well executed.. You find some pieces in your genre and use them as a sonic template. It got me into the "sound" ball park a lot quicker..
Musically I think what you have done is very good, unique. It certainly is dark and moody - A+ for that. I might have liked a stronger ending..
Keep up the good work.. I like what you're doing.. and I'm glad you're here. This particular forum has been gaining steam lately.. There are many really great classical people here. but there's room for us, who are into something different.. The first year, I never ventured out of this forum, (where my music fits).. But lately I've been listening to music that is definitely outside of my comfort zone. and I read some really insightful critiques and comments. And I can figure out ways of how to incorporate some of that into what I do.. There are some very talented people here. and we can learn from them even if their music is different from ours.. It takes some work to translate knowledge gained from their genre and put it into yours.