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Awesome! The octave doubling at 0:44 I found to be a little out of place for the atmosphere you set up prior. Chord at 1:13 is weird since it's like a V over vi chord (G over DFA) making the resolution unclear. It currently feels a little bit sectionalized, but not necessarily episodic. Listen to the Halo 3 main menu theme. It has a clear sectional format, but it's also methodic in how it's done. The form of this piece is a little bit too lengthy as a whole and too short for each little section, if that makes any sense. I think you did a wonderful job for a first draft. I've always been in the mindset that you should be able to sit through a loop of the main menu theme and still not hit "start" yet because it's so memorable. It's close to that, but could use some spicing up in some sections.

Wow this is fantastic! As someone incredibly new to composition, I can't offer any advice on the technical stuff, but I thought that the musical elements were spot on. You had an idea and used the entire piece to express its parts. I liked it a lot. The intro and 1:17 are my absolute favourite parts. Thanks for sharing!

I enjoyed the arrangement quite a lot, someone else would be better commenting on the harmony, but the only improvement I would suggest right now is to adjust where the third instrument (violin) comes in, at 19 seconds. I found it quite jarring for this new part with the rest of the instruments coming in slightly later and not in time with the original beat. I don't know if you wanted to slow the piece down or create a more unexpected entrance for this instrument, which can work and I feel if you eased into it, it maybe could've worked a lot more smoothly. It also happens at 31 seconds, might just be me who feels this, I still enjoyed the piece though :)

This piece has a lot going for it. nice work. I'll only address the mix, which is good, with good balance and separation of instruments, both in panning and depth. I guess there are a couple of ways to address dynamics. One is the terraced approach where you add more instruments to a section when you want it louder, as opposed to just adding volume to what's already there. And you've done this well too. I think it's necessary to be obvious with this because subtleties don't always come through in MIDI mockups. However, that doesn't mean that you don't need the subtleties. I'm referring to volume swells within each line with CC11. Do this a lot! It will make a big difference in enjoyment. Are you familiar with Wendy Carlos' music? an early pioneer of electronic music. She said, regarding expression in synthesizers, "Everything that can be controlled, must be controlled."