Perhaps the main motive is too short to hold the piece. In all, the piece is interesting.
My main concern is in measures from 25 to 32 because there are many dissonances. Usually I like dissonance but when you come from a pure tonal atmosphere, they are heard as mistakes. Sometimes they form three-note clusters or harmony by seconds that in this case is a bit out of place. Not all the crashes are important but in the beginning of each pulse, they are.
If you prepare the atmosphere well, the dissonance is welcome.