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I'm not sure if this is the right forum to write it there, but... well, nevermind. I just need support. I'll be glad for any answers. My sad story began in September when I started attending a conservatory. It was my dream for a really long time so I was excited about that... But there's one thing which is very important for the story: I suffer from manic-depressive states. For some stupid reasons, I haven't sought help until this June. My treatment is in phase "we'll try this medication and see what it will do". So, as I said: I was excited about the conservatory. But then the depression came and it was really bad this time. Music stopped making sense for me. It became a bunch of strange, illogical sounds. I literally wasn't able to compose anymore. Then I stated attending a technical university (because studying two schools simultaneously is really a great idea) and it went even worse. I couldn't do all the things I had to do. I thought it would be better if I would be dead. And so on... many other things that depressed people usually do. I had to leave the conservatory. I left the school only temporarily for now so I can return there. But I'm not sure if I'll be able to do so. I talked to my composition teacher about my problems. I didn't want to do so, but I was meeting him for quite a long time and I thought it would be rude not to tell him anything. He told me that he had a student who came from a technicians family (as well as me) and had hard time pushing ahead his career as a musician (as well as me). He developed schizophrenia during his study, stopped to be able to attend the school and slowly found out that music was actually the trigger of his illness. Maybe music is the thing which is causing my problems. And maybe not. I don't know. I'm not sure about anything. However, I was still feeling bad until I've got better medication. Now I feel better, so I can think about stupid things, such as "my life has no purpose now" or "I could have became a great composer and now I'm a substandard programmer". Music was always kind of mission for me. And everything I've ever dreamed about has disappeared now.

Kind of you to offer but I agree, no extensions should be offered. It would not be fair to the entrants who have worked hard to comply with the criteria already set. Anyway, my issue was more of some family medical issues that arose (fortunately appear to be resolving well) that required my focus so I was little beyond the initial sketching phase anyway.

A sad story indeed. But don't mark yourself down as an "unsuccessful composer". Do you mean a famous composer? Because there aren't many about today who have achieved recognition. Remember that making it a career is a hard task indeed. I know a couple of composers who have had public exposure but they could never make a living at it. One teaches music (and hates it!), another works in IT. Another works in a bank. He doesn't particularly like it but recognises that the money funds his hobbies (i.e. composing). Best to concentrate on your health and doing what you can as you go. You don't need to go to conservatoire to be a composer and (personally) I have serious doubts about the value of a degree course in composition. I mean, they can teach you the tools but they can't teach you creativity. The best you could get from it is performance of your work. For me it did more harm than good and I still haven't recovered entirely. Then possibly learn to play an instrument so you can join an amateur orchestra or ensemble. If nothing else you can talk to others about their instruments and end up composing for them. (That's how it's panned out for me.) Or just compose when you feel able to. Always keep your rejected pieces, sketches and so on. You never know when you could recycle something! Wishing you as best a recovery as possible.

Nope, they must be reversed. I mean, yes, they're reversed. I wanted the stronger sound.

@Monarcheon, gotcha. The cello is from Spitfire Audio's Solo Strings collection. The piano is actually me playing on a keyboard to a Studio 7ft. soundset by Ivory Synthogy. (I also played the cello on the keyboard—for a couple of the pieces. But the timing was really, really hard to match up. So I ended up just using Sibelius.)

@Tónskáld I wasn't truely alerted by your question until I read your description of Aldor: I think I create a new mode everytime I write my music... I seldom rely on the common mode like Lydian modes... And perhaps your use of Messiaen's mode and your unique use of harmonic language enriches this work! I love the ambience you created here. It is also interesting to see, despite some similarities in the motives we chose, the outcome can be so different and I greatly appreciate that! 😄 Well done!