Your compositions are sounding a lot more purposeful, which is great. Congratulations on your imporvement.
I do think the modulation is quite "crunchy", as you called it. I think that in this case, you could go way simpler than that.
G - D7 - Am - Em - Bm - E7 - A Major or Minor, you decide.
If this is used with good voice leading, it will make up for a really smooth modulation.
Other paths are surely possible, I was just sujesting something for you to try.
Good luck!