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Hi, my name is Ali Afifi. I’m new the the Young Composers Forum, and I decided to share some of my compositions with you all to hear your feedback on them, and suggestions on what I should improve and what I should keep the same. One of my compositions I would love to hear your opinion on is my Sonata for piano in D major, posted on MuseScore (https://musescore.com/user/4035251/scores/5675232). It is currently my best finished work of music, but keep in mind this is seven months ago, and I have somewhat improved in composing music. Yet like I said, this is my best finished piece so far, so I would like to hear your opinion on it. Thank you. 🙂

Wrote a short piece in B minor, this time the theme wasn't from improvising. I just wrote this completely on the computer. Hopefully I didn't subconsciously use something from an existing piece...

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Nicely done! I have some food for thought as you continue to broaden your 'large ensemble' tool belt. 1. You have a knack for nice melodic ideas and there are some nice melodies throughout, however there should be more development of those ideas. In other words, give us a melody that will build and means something significant that you can reference later in the piece, for example. Speaking of which, I think there's more potential more that 3-note motif in measure 90. That can definitely become a signature motif that you can start exploiting near the beginning of the piece (and eventually shows up at the end, as it is); also explore more harmonic ideas that can further enhance your writing. For that motif, maybe experiment with contrary motion (harmonies go in opposite directions) to provide some added interest instead of an orchestral unison. 2. The strings acted like a good 'padding' for the piece and provided the main harmonic accompaniment for the piece; however, that seemed like their only purpose. I felt as if it was the strings vs. the woodwinds (and french horn). You can give the woodwinds some chordal structures and accompaniment as well, especially if this to be played by real performers. The strings could also take some melodic ideas too! Based on the instrumentation, the bassoon can provide a rich, low end (not that its are particularly loud) that you can use to your advantage to increase the orchestral 'flavor'. The clarinets also have a resonant low-end that you can use to fill that tenor range, and maybe have the clarinets divisi (one plays low, the other high in order to rise above the texture). The oboes and flutes can also provide interesting textures too, instead of playing intermittent soloistic melodies. All-in-all, incorporate the woodwinds and strings together instead of woodwinds accompanied by strings. 3. Finally, be aware of how the different instruments mix together. For a majority of the piece, the strings are written at piano and the woodwinds play at forte. In real life, those woodwind players would play at a dynamic level that would distort the sweet-sounding melodies you had in mind, since the quiet woodwinds are trying to rise above the entire string section. You can go about this in a few ways: one, double the melody on more than one instrument and maybe experiment with octaves here. You don't wanna overdo it, just an idea. Also, take some time to research the ranges of each instrument and how they sound in those ranges. If you want a solo flute (well, most instruments in that matter) to stand above the orchestral texture, make sure to write it in its higher register. But be careful not to go crazy here, as some instruments don't usually go as high as MuseScore or Sibelius say they can without screeching. Speaking of ranges, you did pretty well in the woodwind section, but keeping in mind that flutes are one the quietest acoustic instrument in their low register (maybe C5 and below?); you can give that lower melody to the oboe or clarinet. The oboe range was pretty reasonable, but be careful not to write it too high (same with clarients); they are not flutes. The high 'E' in measure 53 is out of the range of most players (except flute), especially at the end of a piece. I don't know how deliberate and intentional your instrumentation decisions were, however the lack of a full brass section certainly changes the textures you could be missing out on, but that is purely subjective. Final note, this is a non-transposing score, which is fine. However, make sure to give your players their transposed part if they are a transposing instrument (i.e. Clarinets, and French Horn). Great job and keep writing!

When listening parts of it felt as if they were in 3/4 meter, the notation is all in 4/4. I love the contrast between the forte and piano sections! It reminds me of Debussy for some odd reason, not sure why. Welcome to the forum! Gustav

Bağlantınız koptu :C . Diyor ki: sayfa bulunamadı. Umarım anlaşılır, türkçe konuşmuyorum öyleyse çevirmen kullan