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Showing content with the highest reputation on 04/10/2020 in all areas

  1. Parallel strong beat dissonances in two voices in the beginning of the first movement set the wrong scene for the rest of the work.
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  2. General: phrase ends can use more motion; whole notes drag. m. 14 - IV6 block chord in left hand is unwelcome. I6/4 in a strong position is also strange. m. 18 - parallel dissonances with tonic doubling between RH and violin. m. 24 - P5 -> P4 m. 25 - hard fourth in violin m. 29 into 30, 30 into 31 and 31 into 32- P8's and direct octaves in all voices is a collapsing of harmony in such a way that sounds awkward with different approaches to it. Just P8's would likely work better. m. 32/34 - some hard double stops m. 35 - G's sound awkward in the same pitch register as violin A lot of these types of problems (particularly the ones about double stops) come back a lot from here through the rest of the piece.
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  3. These are just things I typed down listening to it straight through. 1st Movement: A very nice a mellow mood that really works. Unless intended, there are a few dissonant spots, but I personally like that! 2nd Movement: The beginning buildup was nice; I think developing that a bit more could be beneficial (pizzicato might work better, but it sounds good that way too). The buildup at measure 78 was very nice! 3rd Movement: Ok, so this pizzicato is amazing starting off. The lightness of this movement is very apparent; really liking the conversation between the violin and violincello. 4th Movement: Some more variety in the violin II and viola part would be nice to not keep it so monotonous. Changing up the chord progression to make the movement go somewhere could be cool too! Overall Thoughts: Although I have very little experience with string instruments (I'm a percussionist), this piece I think is a really good foundation for something bigger. You have a good amount of the right elements there, I just think some more work into the melody, and complexity of the parts would make this piece even better. I plan to write a string quartet soon with some piano, and you have definitely gave me more motivation to do so! Keep it up! 😄
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  4. I see in the score that it is written for 2 oboes, I would like to see it either written for one oboe, or to have more counterpoint between the oboes. Assuming you want a classical/baroque feel, here is my suggestions: *In measure 2 in Violin I & II, they have parallel motion by unison with the oboe. I would try to avoid that by making a counter-melody in the Violins. Same thing happens again in m5, 6, 34-39, and 41. In measure 40, beat 4 you have a perfect 5 going down to a diminished 5th, which I think is acceptable, but even if it is or not, I would like it to resolve, tritones love to resolve. Try to go for even-numbered phrases(preferable 4 or 8), your opening melody is 2 bars long, so use another 2 measure of filler, maybe you can introduce variations of the theme in the filler, or just straight 8th notes, whatever you want. In measure 4 in Violin I & II , you have an interesting voice-swap/cross-voicing, which is unnecessary. It unnecessary because you don't have a melodic reason to cross-voice, and it doesn't change the nature of the chord. *Measure 20 in the oboe, you have a dotted eighth followed another dotted eighth note followed by an eighth note. It should really be a dotted eighth followed by 16th tied to another 8th note followed by 8th note. The way you notated it makes it difficult to read for musicians. You need to work on the cadence at the end, generally you want to end on the i or I or V(I would only use V if you know how to make it sound conclusive). Starting from measure 43 you have this chord progression: v -> VII -> i6 -> i It is a weak final cadence. You want something more like: V V7 i(or I) It is much stronger. The chord changes should really be on the strong beat. Overall, this is a really good attempt. I think you are just starting to compose(am I wrong?), if you are, you are better than when I started. If you weren't going for a classical style, then ignore everything above except for the parts marked with a '*'. I would try to learn about chord progression and voice leading from any music theory site, here is an English one: http://davesmey.com/theory/partwritingrules.pdf I hope this helps.
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  5. I'm happy to edit my comment to remove any confusion.
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  6. First, chill. By the translation this is likely not their first language. Second, I think he was confused by your thoughts of breathing considering the score shows it's written for two oboes, not one, so they were wondering if that problem of breathing was mitigated. You might think so or not, but that was their question. In other words, no, they likely misunderstood your breathing comment was in direct relation to creating a more realistic sound product as opposed to a score.
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  7. My comments are that in the first couple of minutes the dynamics of neither oboe nor accompaniment varied at all so it sounded more like a harmonium. The piece has scope for enormous dynamic variation that would give it expression. And... the harmony doesn't vary at the command of the melody. It could be you wanted it like this, in which case pse disregard my comment. It may be worth looking at what triads/chords could fit the melody to give it greater expression - more in keeping with CPP as it's a tonal piece. It certainly has potential but needs more work. Apologies for the loss in translation.
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  8. Hi, wellcome to the forum! Beautiful adagio, I would like to have a look at the score.
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