I'm sure a timbral effect was desired from the fast notes, but it comes off sounding strange, even for something in a pseudo-alankar style. Similarly, why the panning at the end? Just because?
The setup with a double note motif in the beginning is an interesting idea that is interesting to the point that it makes subsequent passages feel irrelevant. The high register off-modal notes are my favorite part of this, and could be layered to help the tonic elaboration.