Wow! If Gould says it's ok, I stand corrected. It's true that when I first looked at the score (having not had the recording yet), the rhythm in the first measure gave me a little confusion at first, but in the 2nd measure I immediately knew what you meant... which I suppose is what really matters.
And I think it really shows that you sing each line while listening to the others... they all sit very well and are very singable. It's a good practice that I wish more choral composers would follow. (I do that too for my compositions, trying to sing one part in the correct octave while playing the others at the piano... although when I sing the soprano and alto parts, it sounds like Florence Foster Jenkins at best and an angry coyote at worst!)