Hello Kyle,
Happy new year to you and sorry for the late reply, this piece is not bad at all especially for the style it's written in; it has a really modern and minimalist feel to it, not unlike Hans Zimmer's scores. You bring a lot of rhythmic interest to the work with the overlaying of different parts, and the orchestration sounds quite cinematic(though there are a few odd bits with the sax). My only concern is that the entire work feels quite uniform in it's atmosphere. Though there are some moments where you bring light into the work(at 3:43 for example), I believe you could feature a contrasting section which truly celebrates the life of the individual. Maybe developing a melody in the major key could help.
Anyways, this would fit great in a end-of-the-world type soundtrack, and I could already picture Nicholas Cage starring in it. Keep me posted if you ever do a collab, I'd be very curious to hear this work featured in a short film.