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Yeah, that's the idea and one of the possible changes! However, in this version you changed the melody at the cadence right before. In this new version the melody at the end of the previous section soars higher than in the original one. I think, if you play the melody an octave higher, it is better to keep the melody prior to that in the same range as in the original version, since, otherwise, it breaks the novelty of the higher rang. You could also keep this new melodic ascend at the cadence and that might add some contrast for the entrance of the original melody you had in G5. Also, I think in both versions, one of the main issues is that the Cmin accompaniment chords are too loud. I would make those chords much softer and, in general make that whole section softer than the previous one (both melody and accompaniment, but specially the later). Thiis dynamic change could also help quite a lot.

Very nicely done! The romanesca bass never stops giving! What is the software that you use? PS, watch out for the voice leading in a few places. I spotted an instance of parallel fifths between the bass and Viola, but otherwise you have done an excellent job. May I ask what your inspiration is when you compose such music… what do you set out to achieve?

You're welcome @JorgeDavid. I am planning to do my reviews in that manner. I am thinking it will be more helpful that way.

@JorgeDavid So something like this...? (Screen recording converted to MP3 of b.26 - b.49) Recording 2026-06-22 153224.mp3