barko

This is a bit over my head musically, so I can't offer any suggestions, though to my ears it doesn't need any. This a tremendous undertaking and a really powerful piece. Well done! Excellent textures, beautiful melodies and plenty of power. Dug it.

Try to cut the delay on the F# and put the F in a lower octave. But most important: adjust the length of the delay on the F# if it can be isolated. If not maybe you don't need it for that bar or beat. Not sure what software you are using or how much control you have of the effects. You could also double the F in a lower octave and leave the one you have in the lead voice. Might help...

Very nice melody & chords. I agree with Peter, the title is perfect. There's a bit of an awkward moment @ 1:24 where the note doesn't blend with the chord. Maybe try another voicing? Anyway you certainly have talent. Good melodies are not easy to come by. Keep up the good work!

I didn't say that exactly. I said none of my creations were good enough to pitch. It's just that I live in Nashville and being a musician myself here for many years it's not hard to find people who know how to do that or to find aspiring artists who are looking for material. Appreciate the comments. Thanks again!

Thank you, Thatguy v2.0. I do have others (tombarko on SoundCloud - if u r feeling masochistic), but none of them seem good enough to pitch professionally and it's no good being an accomplished amateur. Besides I'm probably on the wrong forum because I'm not a "young" composer and my health in recent months prevents me from working on my laptop like I used to. I did enjoy putting sounds together, but I can't do it anymore. But thank you for your kind words. My goal was to write one good song and this is probably about as close as I'm gonna get. I like what you said about "some spots could be better served with less going on," I found that very difficult though I tried to do just that. Just not that good as an arranger/producer. I have rudimentary skills, I grant you, but was unable to give it that punch I was hearing in my head.

Rewritten version of a song I wrote (tried) a few years ago. I had that dream again last night It always seems so real You found out what all this time I'd been trying to conceal You looked at me in disbelief Like you just learned the truth My heart beats like a nervous thief When I'm close to you Funny how my mind goes blank Every time you smile Good thing that intelligence Is going out of style Can't say why I lose my nerve But I always do It happens to me every time When I'm close to you I don't think I can ever hope for The thing I've become such a dope for I know I'm not really in your league I can only pray you disagree Just take a look at me right now Acting like a fool It happens to me every time I know it's crazy but it's true When I'm close to you

Another attempt (and probably my last) at writing a decent song. Somethin' U Got Somethin' you got, is haunting me I can't explain it, I can't break free You're on my mind, almost constantly Somethin' you got has got a hold on me I had no plan to get close to you But thoughts of you keep slipping through My lazy brain has got nothing to do But wonder if you think about me too I've got no appetite, can't even sleep at night I lie awake wondering what to do I'm looking for a sign, to show me why that I'm So afraid I might be falling for you Somethin' you got, has captured me I can't explain it, I can't break free Whatever it is just, won't let me be Somethin' you got has got a hold on me I don't know what it is you've got I only know I really like it a lot I hope and pray that it might be true That you might feel the same way I do One day I realized, when I look in your eyes I see the world in a brand new light And from my point of view, I owe it all to you It's like the sun coming out at night Somethin' you got, is haunting me I can't explain it, I can't break free You're on my mind, almost constantly Somethin' you got has got a hold on me Your easy ways, your tender touch I've got to have it now Now that it means so much Now that I need you so much Somethin' you got, has captured me If this is prison, I don't want to be free No use pretending, that you can't see Somethin' you got has got a hold on me Somethin' you got, is haunting me I can't explain it, I can't break free You're on my mind, almost constantly Somethin' you got has got a hold on me

Thank you. As to your impression of impressionism, it's Debussy cut up reversed and layered with some audio effects. Ha ha.

I really liked it. No suggestion except keep exploring. Let's have another.

When All the Love is Gone.mp3 Slightly mediocre song with sub par lyrics & cruddy vocal. In need of a good singer at a very minimum. But I'm proud of the arrangement at least.

I've added the score.

a slight expansion

Thank you for your thoughtful and complimentary review. Just to clarify, the intended harmonic structure (of the A section or main theme) is mostly a quick journey through the cycle of 5ths (loosely speaking): Em7 - A7 - Dm7 - G7 - Cm - Em7/B - Ab13 - A7 - Dm7 - G7 - C with a few random or nearly random dissonances thrown in. To me it clearly ends on the tonic (ignoring the random dissonances thrown in for laughs) though it's true it starts on 3m. Thanks again.

Brilliant!

Thanks, Luis