version782

Ideally you would not think either of those things, you would know the chord/scale relations to the point where you no longer have to do the arithmetical operations in your head and just intuitively play in a musical way. When it comes to improvisation you need to have all that stuff known on a sub-conscious level. Keep practicing and if you are diligent you will be able to be able to internalize a lot more than hitting basic chord tones. Force yourself to play in unfamiliar keys until they become memorized.

This seems like a good resource, thanks. I found this book https://archive.org/details/analysisofformas00harduoft it details the form of each of Beethovens piano sonatas, if anyone else is interested.

I get that kind of feeling regularly but I find if I just keep trying new things and honing the skills I am weak at I can overcome it and gain satisfaction again. If you are unhappy with what you previously felt to be good it means that your perception has changed and is a sign of improvement. Even though you don't feel happy you are in the stage that allows for the next level of growth as a musician and if you stick to the grindstone you WILL be able to improve. I think the idea that art is just self-expression and exploring your emotions is completely wrong, art is the field that requires constant dissatisfaction and humiliation to achieve any kind of greatness.

1