Thanks for all the responses, everyone :) I attached the piece I'm working on right now- it's the best that I've done so far that also has the problems I'm talking about. As such the second half is unfinished (so, quit listening around 3:30, I couldn't cut out what I haven't worked on). I really like a lot of the things I've done with the first half but it also showcases some of the problems I've been having. It's also got a serious atmosphere issue. It's supposed to be a tragic love song. It starts somewhere around there, but by the middle that feeling is completely gone, and I don't know how to get it back. (It's Sib 7 audio file, not me playing at this point).
Kikyo's Theme_2_52.mp3