Hey - thanks for replying so quickly! You are sterling people!
Glad you liked it LostSamurai. The transitions were intended to be pretty jarring, so if you had noticed spectacular chordal jumps I would have actually been delighted! :) And yes, happy you were able to follow the motifs as they went on their little journey.
Thanks for the very helpful critique Monarcheon! Yes, these suspensions are indeed imperilled by mud, especially in slightly more busy orchestrations like this. I'd tried to keep things reasonably lucid while at the same time having a sense of mess, but I didn't quite get the balance right. And as for the peculiar rhythms and lydian and whole tone stuff, I very much wanted that awkwardness! So, much of what possibly doesn't work, I'm afraid I willfully chose it! Very insightful comments though, you obviously listened to it with splendid ears and mind!
Much appreciated!