ZacharyAM

Is there a specific instrumentation to follow?

Wow, this piece has a lot of interesting movements to it and I loved it! I wish I could stop you from placing staccatos so abrupt in the beginning theme where you're alternating syncopation in the right and left hand. I think you're playing octaves with your right hand and placing the staccatos so abruptly that it becomes a little unbalanced to focus the attention on the relationship of the syncopation. I think milking out a marcato or even just a quieter right hand would do the trick. That way we can feel that Japanese Modern Tonal Jazz sound that this piece shoves at us so beautifully in the beginning. I'd love to see a score, but otherwise I thank you for your time.

My suggestion is to: A) Clarify your themes and melodies a little more broadly. I can see that sometimes the dynamic contrasts are overplayed and underplayed in the playback, and such is the problem with digital mock ups. But even so, I can find that there are spots that don't seem purposeful as far as where a melody should push for. It seems that some markings and even some rhythms seem out of place with the aesthetic that this piece gives. B) Think about the delivery of this piece. What message does this send? This may also help spots where you might want to consider different timbre's of the instruments. For example, in the beginning, the melody is held in soli by the basson and the 1st (possibly 2nd) Horns. A horn may be out of place if the delivery is to open more carefully like in the Nutcracker Suite, or open extremely more forcefully in which maybe just the basson and horn or even just the basson may be out of place here like maybe in the opening lines to Beethoven's 5th. Instrument choice and orchestration and ya-da-ya-da all play different roles in to how an audience will inevitably take something meaningful out of the performance this piece will have, and ultimately what they will feel from it. Because all-in-all, if they feel something then you've done your job as a composer. I think this piece could be really something special, and I think you've got something wonderful in the making. You've just got to chip away at it a little bit more and find the grounds for a beautiful gem. Thank you for your submission, and thank you for your time.

Very dramatic, I love it. At M38, the piano phrases on the right hand don't properly accompany the singers descending phrases. Choosing more deliberate spots with the those runs allow the singer to sink into the style change starting at M33. M47, the word "warriors" doesn't roll from the mouth easily. "Wawr-ee-er" is particularly difficult to end the 8th tied Half on because the word doesn't end on a consonant and contains two vowels clashing to form a clear dipthong, ee-er. I.E. you started M33 with the word swords. "Sohrd" is a word that both ends on a consonant and extends only one vowel. Thanks.

You can sense the Eric Whitacre influence

(I think) At M15 we have the string section (minus the D.B.) play a quarter note slurred to an eighth. The chords start as a EbM chord, then transition to an Fm/D chord. Personally, I'd switch the 1st & 2nd Violins to add a consistency of rank, but that's preference and no one really cares (including a lot of famous composers) lol However, those two chords play pp and staccato their last note of that measure. Because of playback it'd play more of a mf sound, rather a true pp. Even though they play alone, a pp still wouldn't be heard as closely due to the louder section play a couple measures before. Either a crescendo from a p, or mp would be sufficient to carry. Finale, Sibelius, Musescore and a lot of other playback machines don't follow their dynamics to the instruments and capabilities, but rather the MIDI file that could be cleanly stuck on. One of the better VS libraries to come out solely for notation software that is being sold right now is Noteperformer for Sibelius. Anyways, dynamics are really loose to an actual orchestra. They're not intensely followed, but providing close dynamics allows a smoother rehearsal for any performer and gives the sense that an individual does not need to wait for a conductor/director to give them their articulations and dynamics themselves.

I'm just starting out on this forum also forgive me if I am not familiar with any customs towards how to approach giving comments/feedback. I love the playfulness of the piece during just the first part of the piece (around 2:30). I also enjoy the obvious tension chosen to show an intimacy of two young/fresh lovers in the very opening where the richer middle section of the strings play out. There are a few spots where the dynamics blend well through playback, but wouldn't make much sense during a performance. Also, this is quite the raunchy story in variation two (which is obviously appropriate to explain the steps of the variation but still). Hope I helped in some sort of way