Hello Guardian!
In my opinion this is the best baroque piece i have heard form you. You really the melodic language in your head. There are many who try to sound baroque, if one try to arrange it its impossible because the melodic material is modern in nature. This problem is not something you have, and that is great. I think this piece as a whole is very plesant to listen to, you have some very good ideas.
There are a couple of things you should focus on:
Harmonic rhythm.
Harmony/progressions.
I think you main harmony (on the strong beats) works overall good, but its the passing notes and unprepared harmonic changes that is the problem. Often the tempo can cover this up, as it does here. For example look at score below to see more clear what i mean.
Great job, keep it up! 🙂