kwokon987

Hi, sorry for the late reply After giving it another listen, I think there is just a large stylistic difference between how we conceptually compose. My only points worth sharing, is that a lot happens in the first few bars. A lot of lines in the WW which could each be a melody on its own. then immediately into a new style at m9, but before we can adjust, you start chugging us through lots of chord changes, before recapping again. If your intention was to disorient then, I wish you were more committed to it in m1-8. it feels noncommittal because of the sustained Fr.Hn chords. I feel that I need more time to adjust to the new rhythm in m9, at least 2 bars? Having a more caucus intro would make the new rhythm and timbre (piano) feel even more clear. maybe solo piano for a bit? or pass the rhythm to the timp for a bit with an intro on fl. to m9 before bring in the piano? the melodies in WW don't feel satisfying? because the middle of the phrase is a tonic function, but the end of it is a dominant function. It almost feels like I want to swap the two entire orchestra phrases over (not exactly of course, you'd have to tweak it) I enjoyed m25-36 it was energising next to the static chord chugging. (like a train I suppose?) m37-38 didn't feel as epic as it could maybe because the strings are in similar registers to the horns? maybe because of the harmony between the horns? maybe do unison? I feel like it'd be easier to just show you what I mean than to explain it, (I'm really sorry if you're offended by me annotating the score like that- I know that some people can get really upset by this) Overall, I really like the concept of your suite- I hope the astronomy interpretation really shines through! It's very refreshing to see someone with a unique perspective on composing, and I can hear it through your music. A lot of your interpretations on barren textures, and consonance contradict with my impressions and own ways of expression. You compose in a totally different way to me, so I'd definitely take all of my comments with a big grain of salt. I'm excited to see where this goes 🙂 PS: I still have a lot more to say, but this is enough for one reply lol

Hey, I was going to give my 2 cents, but I after reading your post I feel like I'm missing out on a lot of context? Is this supposed to be set in classical era? Does this have anything to do with Holsts' Planets?

First of all I'm from Australia so I reckon GSCE is sort of comparable to HSC? Its clear you had a criterion for this composition, and as a marker, you'd be hard pressed not to give you a great mark. You've clearly and obviously marked out the goals for the piece. The piece is quite dense throughout, in terms of compositional techniques. Markers like this- it is an obvious way to give marks. You've been quite smart with your chose of contrasting motif (m3) its a smart way to balance the density. careful using sul tasto in high registers. This is sometimes impossible (fingers hitting the bow) and a somewhat ineffective tone colour (not noticeable). Stylistically, I don't personally feel the etherealness or dream-like quality? To me, harmonics and broad, rich harmony show dreaminess 🤷 (this is subjective- everyone dreams differently lol) I'm not super well versed in Messiaen's music or style, but generally to me his music seems dense but ordered- it feels very clean. His polyphony acts a single unit, in yours it feels more separated and individualistic (melody and motifs being passed around)- closer to a post-romantic style. This is just something to think about for next time. What you've made is already great 👍 Side note, how are you finding Dorico I've been curious about it lol EDIT: its kinda funny to call it a Lento, when the subdivisions make it not seem that way at all lol. I just read that its the second movement, which makes a lot of sense, since it felt like it was in the middle of a piece, not a piece on its own. I forgot to mention that I enjoyed the ending m32-END 🙂

Overall this is a fun little piece, you clearly understand the essence of what a prelude and fugue is meant to be. 👍 The prelude is fun. the metric feels contemporary and clean, using (2+2+2+3) time was unique. I like that you were confident in your writing for it. Also ending with a quartal harmony made it feel very contemporary. I can't say too much on the fugue since I don't have a very deep knowledge on baroque music. Although I felt you were less confident in your writing compared to the prelude-I think that there was a lot less direction with the harmony which made it feel unsure. On my first listening I think I heard parallel octaves in m46. in voice 1 and 3. I'll have to take another look to skim for any voice leading slipups. I was a little surprised when I didn't hear a third voice come in at m42, it is a bit of a jump for the second voice (maj 11 interval) PS: I think I'm going to try writing a fugue now, you've inspired me 🙂 EDIT: have a look at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fugue#Musical_outline, I completely forgot that fugues have an actual structure 😛

Its great that you're writing for your siblings, its a great chance to hear your music live. What I meant by adding a flute and mentioning the heavy mid register is that you've tended to write the instruments in overlapping registers. I wanted you to consider whether or not you wanted to open the range of the piece more for variety. Its not so much a problem, but just something to think about. overly tight writing only becomes a problem when it is used too much (this can be an effect...) it can become tiring to a listeners ears. I'm excited to hear your next movement 🙂

nicely written- its clear that your intentions for this piece was ambience and mood with a focus on harmony. This was conveyed well. Since this is part of a larger work, I cant comment too much stylistically since it needs context. m9-19 was well written with the voices interacting nicely. I wish that there was more interplay between lines in the later half of the piece. In regards to timbre, it felt like I needed another WW (maybe flute). Something to bring more warmth to the composition, and to balance out the heavy mid register (violin, viola, oboe).

I enjoyed the first minute of the composition, it felt emotive and was nicely written. Its a shame that the dynamics is not well heard in the midi, I only imagine how nice it would sound with live performers. On dynamics, you don't need to be so iterative on this. There are many spots where the dynamics can be simplified to better convey your intentions to the performer. the distinction on starting mp or mf, and movement between p to mp is almost meaningless in certain places, but above all, context matters. B section (m23 - 34) felt too short for me. It teased the listener with only a short development, it only made the recapitulation (m42-END) feel more unimpactful. Consider playing with range more- Generally you never let your ensemble play close together, its usually spanning a huge range. Consider tighter sections to make your spread sections feel bigger. Something to think about, is that when you have such a huge range simultaneously, this can emulate white noise. Just something to keep in mind.

I really like the harmony in this piece. Using modal mixture feels very fresh and unique. My favourite part is m9-14. I think it conveys nocturne for me very well. m8 & m38-39 feel too surprising to me. I think they detract from the mood that you carefully built up. I'd feel more comfortable with these if they were developed more in later/earlier sections. I like that m8's idea reappears in m23-24, but they feel too far apart. Overall I like it, hearing this after midnight really got me in the mood 🙂

A lot of things happened in life that surrounded this composition. Which ultimately made me give up on pursing composing and abandon music related things for ~2 years. today: 18, doing my second year of maths in university, I looked back and was curious if in some small way, had my thoughts leaked into the composition.

Hey, this is my first time posting. Here's my most recent composition, written in 2 hours, a whole bunch of stress, and some existential crisis. I'm open to any and all critisisms. My personal thoughts are that I feel the composition really needed an improv. section and/or more time to create a larger aesthetic to really sell the sparse quality I wanted. Thanks for checking it out. --also, if you didnt realise, the title is a play on the words sweetest voices. I can let you guys try to guess what I meant by that.