This is a great arrangement. I wasn’t familiar with this piece so I listened to the original version and then yours. At 0:38 (piano solo?) it’s a great little riff from the piano but if the size of the ensemble is indeed for a concert band, I think it would be best if multiple parts played it; maybe give this riff to some flutes/upper clarinets so that the part can be heard otherwise it might barely noticeable to the ear when a real ensemble performs it. Software recordings vs a “live” band setting are two total different things. But overall, it is a pretty good arrangement for a concert band.
For transcribing lyrics to actual music instruments, to me, it’s a bit tough since vocals can do things instruments can’t do and vis versa. Your approach to it is pretty good by the way.
I also don’t know how to delete posts on here too, so you’re ok.