Hey hey,
Good work!
Ummmmm... you know leaving comments on other people's compositions is a hard thing to do because music is sooo... well it's never right and never wrong. Everyone has their own idealistic styles, but who is to say that their style and approach should be yours. So nobody is ever truely qualified to tear apart your work but yourself. With that said, I have just a couple of my own thoughts:
1. Your opening totally sounded like drum core... not... well I don't know what your trailer was about. But you just might double check whether or not you want to keep those drum fonts. I will admit, they do sound pretty rad. But that isn't always the best thing when you are trying to keep with a certian theme. But hey, I liked it.
2. The theme motive idea that you had bothered me... not because it was bad or anything. But I totally heard it going someplace else than where it did, curse of a composer I suppose.
3. Now, remember, these are just my opinions..... I would have loved to hear some more chordal structure. What I mean by that is, some chords... like... stacked... at the same time playing. Would have been nice in my ears. The strings are cool... really cool... maybe switch it up with some obeo, clarinet or english horn? The strings were really kinda driving me up the wall by the end of your clip. Heck, some trumpets would have really sounded cool in this clip.. I think.
4. Voice leading... ummmm... that's probably the biggest thing I'd work on.
But like I said. Great work, and who I am to tell you what you need to work on. What do you think of your clip? That's the important thing.