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AlexeySavelyev
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AlexeySavelyev last won the day on April 13 2023
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AlexeySavelyev replied to AngelCityOutlaw's topic in Incidental Music and Soundtracks
Love it, excellent work and composition -
Hello, ludeart. Long time 🙂 So as for this Caprice I will give you some feedback in hopes you would improve and become more flexible in this variation form. 1. Thematic material I think you got better overall in that regard, but here it is like you start of from the middle of the theme. Theme is a story in its own, and like every story it has statement, development, answer to the initial statement, culmination, ending. You seem to start from the answer. Why do I feel that? Because you start to introduce sequences right from the start, but sequences is only a form of developing an already established theme or motif. So my opinion is that you should heavily work on that. Because Theme is like a main hero. If your story lacks a good developed main hero, no one will care about the story. You can work with this by looking at 24th Paganini Caprice and studying how he does his theme. 2. Variations Variations are fine, there is not much to it, because of how short the piece is, and you simply don't give yourself time to execute all of the violin techniques which you would place in a caprice. 3. How long the piece is. Well it's very short. I can translate your story as this: "There is an old man, who knows how to do everything. He does smithing, he loves his wife. He lives happily. The end." The whole thing just wants a question: "So what?" And partially that is because you don't give yourself time to develop anything you do in the composition, which is bad for you as a composer, and bad for listener as they doesn't care. So I hope you will follow more Paganini's 24th Caprice in the future, maybe even locking yourself to releasing your composition until you hit 5 minute mark, so you can develop everything in your piece to the maximum. Also do a thematic exercises every day. Try to write a theme (theme is a nicely developed motif, don't forget) and see how it affects you on its own and then when you are capable of writing such bright and interesting themes, you can go on and try to implement them in variations to develop it even further. Looking forward to your progress 🙂
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Variations on a Theme from "Dragon's Lair"
AlexeySavelyev posted a topic in Competition Hall of Fame
Here is the mockup of a piece I submitted to "From Bits to Bangers". Spent a month composing this going through some research first and then actually composing, because I didn't know a thing about "Dragon's Lair". Apparently it is a really hard-to-beat 1983 game where you need to go through different levels and fight a dragon in the end to save your princess (Daphne). I didn't know that my description would end up in submissions thread (might've misread the OP), because I would've guided listeners a little better than I did, but anyways here is the original description: "So I took Dragon's Lair track here. This is free variational form with developement in different fields. I went from studying the soundtrack and noticing it's medieval feel, so I went for this too at first with my work and it goes sort of from just typical folk Dorian scale to a sort of modern polytonic harmony in the end. This track played at a dungeon level, so I wanted to represent that too, going with some nocturnal feeling, developing into some conflict in the end which resolves and goes back to Dorian scale in the end, referencing the 'peaceful' beginning. " Originally named Dungeon Variations, though it's not the dungeons, that the original track plays on, it's in the mines, but whatever 😄 There are a few moments that I was considering while composing this: 1. So first thing is the context, because it is a story based music, so it has to follow context heavily. Medieval context is a must, and an original track asks for a ballade like approach. Hence why I was questioning this "From Bits to Ballads" offence by one of the judges, because you simply can't YOLO this track (or Kirby's too) and go for heavy metal Castlevania-like approach. You can, of course, but that would not be a good "Execution of a Given Challenge" in my head. 2. Characteristics of the initial theme: all in downward chromatism. In the game the hero dives more and more into the depths of the castle and this chromatism in theme supports this feeling when you enter the mines level. I wanted to retain this and develop as I can. 3. Nocturnal feeling is a must. Supporting major-minor relations and going from folk Dorian scale to heavy polytonical textures in the end introducing the main theme has to retain that spooky feeling of the original. So by all that I had Theme 1 (T1) which is simply a variated form of the original melody. Theme 2 (T2) which is the original melody by itself. And characteristic chromatic downwards motion. All in all creating story through chromatic motion downwards (spooky, sad, nocturnal) or diatonic (representing the hero, good, radiant, light), just to be there as a certain contrast to the chromatic motion. 1. Piece starts off with the intro, setting the medieval mood of T1 in Dorian Scale, which uses diatonic relations for setting up a mood. Later on introducing main hero fanfares later on entering the castle and facing his fate. You can hear chromatic downwards motion in clarinets in the woodwinds line after fanfares. 2. Initial setup of a original theme. Getting introduced to a T2, variated from the original rhythmically in a clear nocturnal texture, followed by developement using chromatic motion downwards in lower register at the same time as diatonic motion upwards in the higher registers. 3. Modulation to D minor with chromatic downwards motion setting up the next section, which uses variated form of T2 setting up uncomfortable mood. Constant changes in lows between I and VII# makes sure this feeling stays there. Thick harmonies in clarinets and horns are used to enhance that feeling of unease. All that is supported by pedal tones in Trumpet and Trombone lines. Dangers of the castle seems to evade as Trumpet introduces a diatonic upwards motion melody. 4. Diatonic upwards motion in Viola solo line now features I-VIm harmony from the original theme, indicating that even in the light there is darkness now and the new danger might be approaching. After that flute line refers the T2 again, variated to be slower rhythmically as bassoon line refers T1 one last time before the culmination. This section lives in a distinctive contrast to sections 3 and 5. 5. Culmination itself uses the original theme in its full form. With the initial melody there are two counterpoints. One is in violas and clarinets, and the other one is in trumpet line. Both are there to support the final battle mood. Trumpet is enhancing strong harmonies while constant moving. Double tonguing in flutes is introduced to reference the initial track's melody delay FX. Ending is open. After all you don't know if you've beaten the dragon, or have to reset the whole game and repeat your path. If former - horn solo just sends you back to the beginning, if latter - it means you are in peace again with your love interest and can live happilly ever after in your medieval magical fantasy world 😄 Thanks for reading and listening. I hope you enjoyed. Sincerely, Alexey.-
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- from bits to bangers
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I see nothing wrong in his post. He felt insulted and expressed so in all honesty. I also had issues with some comments about his piece - instead of going supportive and offering what could've been done some went in completely different direction giving harsh criticism after which some would quit writing music completely. Which is unacceptable. Of course this is no masterpiece as he states, because there is so much stuff missing for it to become such, but instead of bashing someone for thinking that way, better help them become better
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This is exceptionally well done and thought through! Brilliant choice of harmony and orchestration is also good. However Last bit seems off to what's going on in the first 3 minutes, make it bigger! This piece asks to be 15 minutes long 🙂
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That is not correct. Slurs for strings are indicating if notes should be played on one bow and you should definitely indicate that to the player. Pretty often composers also indicate up-bow, or down-bow as well so look into that.
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It is also good, and a good improvement in terms of following initial track mood from the first one. But I suggest you doing this for developing your skill of developement of a piece: 1. Start the initial theme exactly like it is in the original track. Exact notes. 2. Start building a few variations (let's say 4) variating this theme using several violin techniques one-by-one. For example you can go in first variation with harmonics, then in second you can do tremolo, in third pizzicato and in fourth con g string. It is really important to differ theme little by little in those variations, so it won't be boring and ridiculous. 3. Start building more variations (let's also do 4) variating theme using more difficuld techniques f.e. : double stops, octaves, ricochet, left-hand pizzicato. 4. To bring it to a pinnacle you can do a polyphonic variation (Bach pieces must be studied) and you may also follow this by a fanfare-like variation using only chords but taking rhytmical sense of the original composition. 5. End it off as you'd see fit. That alone would build you a large developed caprice-like piece. Take your time thinking about your concept of the piece, there is no need of rushing through. Wish you luck.
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Hey @luderart I actually enjoyed your piece very much! I will not say it's a masterpiece, because we have Paganini and when you name a certain piece a caprice, comparisons will be made. And it is a pretty short track for it to be a caprice really - not enough variations, I'd expect triple of the size you made, because your middle-to-end part is really nice and wants some continuation but you end it really suddenly, whereas you could explore more of violin sound and relay your initial theme onto it, like Paganini does. As for the competition, like with the winner, I don't see a connection with the initial track. The Dragon's Lair track, at least in my perspective, has a really dark mood (because it is played in the dungeon level of the game) and I actually don't know what you took from it, because there is no darkness, there are no characteristic to the piece chromatic movements. Even with that things said, I think your piece has a great potential and I heard it through a a lot of times listening to it. It's just that it has little developement, and, for the competition, little to do with original track, because somehow you managed to take a track, as you say, but the outcome is so original, that the original theme is unhearable. That being said, I don't think it deserves such a low score indeed.
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That's very harsh. Me and @telliur just offered some feedback and I am very sorry if you feel like that showed some entitlement, elitist, materialistic ideals. Because none of that was the point. I really want to participate in the future and that's why I am offering this to organisers. If I didn't enjoy the competition and wasn't glad you took your chunk of time to analyse the pieces so thoroughly I would not be writing a single thing, because I wouldn't be affected by it and didn't feel anything for it. But I do. Be mindful that there is also a language barrier and we all may understand things differently from our point of view because English is not my native language (and maybe yours as well).
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Banger is a slang and definitions differ from different societies you are in. Again, if that's what you'd like to hear - you should include it in the rules. In any way even if that was the case "Dragon's Lair" Dungeon track is not meeting this definition in the first place and certainly is very biased towards Ballade to start with.
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I also had a trouble with that. If you expect participants to write in certain style - make it a rule. For me a banger is a piece which you would consistently re-listen. If you have personal biases that should not be a reason to deduct points because that is not in rules of competition and that's not a category. Also shoutout to Omicron for indicating how little winning entry had to do with the actual track... That was exactly my thought and I was really amazed at how much attention it got as I didn't understand how it got so much points for "Execution of Given Challenge" . It certainly is a great original track, but... Nevermind, just personal thoughts. --- Also as a feedback I'd like to leave a thought of not promoting the event of 200$ prize for 3 places recieving the money and then later cutting it to only 1st place recieving 100$. I understand that it was a point in original post (which I sadly missed), that if you didn't recieve 10 entries, you would cut the award, but the way it was done was like indicating you are going for amount of entries, rather than their quality. And in my opinion you could've made an exception since competition was missing only 1 entry. Anyway, congrats again with organisation.
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Thanks for sharing! Your entry was one of my favourites besides Kirby ones!
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Thank you for such a great competition! I had my own problems coming through with this, as I am a big fan of Kirby soundtrack and was originally going to do something for that track, but instead went for Dragon's Lair because I thought it would be more challenging. I am very glad to have participated in this and I marked for myself a few great composers, which their entry stunned me, ironically it's both Kirby entries which were my absolute favourite and I had a hard time choosing between them, who to give my vote for. I want to say special thanks to every judge that took time to make a feedback and reasons for their scoring points. That was immense and impressive. Thank you for your passion towards all this. Regardless, I wanted to point out some points of judges here and explain a few things in my entry: To Thatguy v2.0, chopin: The rip is due to rendering issue, which I noticed unfortunately only after I sent my work. It's not caused by db levels. I am extremely sorry to all listeners about it. I will mockup the piece later on and post it in a different thread so you can enjoy it with some libraries and without such noise 🙂 To PeterthePapercomPoser: You've got right feelings about the ending, because originally the piece was 15 minutes long. Not only was it not allowed to have such a long piece, but I didn't have enough time to complete in full details, so I had to cut everything I felt not needed for story. Further problems developed as I had some issues irl and was about to miss the competition completely, but I got it in the last second and seriously blessed to have this entry in 2nd place. To Henry Ng Tsz Kiu: About using transposing score. It really depends on the score and where you are based. I am from Russia and transposing scores here are definitely the most popular, but I felt like using concerto score just for the sake of everyone's understanding it without any issues, since I was sending it to the international competition. To Omicronrg9: Thank you for pointing out the piano mistake! No excuse for it. All in all, as for the score, I understood straight away, that I wouldn't recieve the highest remarks just because of the time constraints that I had on giving it more details and a thorough review as I sent my submission the last possible second. Very glad you enjoyed it. I definitely enjoyed researching the Dragon's Lair soundtrack and I am glad you felt that from the music. I also would like to again give my highest praises to Grape Garden and Revisiting Kirby as my total favourites. Both of you caught the sense of the initial soundtrack amazingly and delivered a total banger. Major thanks to all the other participants as well, I had a blast listening to your works! Really hope to participate in such events in the future! Very well done to organisers! Cannot thank you enough! P.S. Notice how @Ferrum did not recieve bragging rights, haha 😄
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I have to say, both Kirby entries are aboslutely phenomenal, both deserve a first place in every poll. Vey well done!
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