Score's a mess, but it's clear enough by the instrumentation and your writing that this is synth-kiddie material.
There's poor use of the ensemble as a whole, poor use of the individual instruments, un-idiomatic writing, unrealistic writing.
I'm sorry, I won't go into more detail as there is too much to comment on. Judging from this work, you have some interesting ideas but lack the foundation to present them effectively. I recommend finding a teacher and would look forward to seeing your improvement. You do have creativity, you just lack training.
Good luck!