Hi it's been awhile since I've posted but i recently wrote some lyrics and I'd really apprieciate some constructive critisisum. Oh yeah and one other thing before you read them I havent figured out how to record them and the music to go with them at the same time ...tips?
Alright 1 of these is finished but the other still needs work
Let it Fizz(my least favorite of them all)
verse: thoughts ,friendly thoughts for the new kid in town
note, silly note being passed all around
it says shes a looser, a boozer, you laugh
but inside you
chorus: bottle of coke is fizzing like steam
it's shaking like bacon but all that you do
it keep it closed inside of you
Verse: parents, angry parents they call you dumb
teachers, crazy teachers let your parents sing on
they say your grades are lower than scum, you laugh
but inside your
chorus
bridge: decieving decieving you bleeding and heaving
with all of your might to push things away from site
and your going insane theres a hemirage in your brain
but you just have to let it come loose
cause breaking your bottle of feeling it freedom, freedom to being okay
song 2 security hat
verse: you woke up on a monday feeling somewhat out of place
so on your way to school you bought a drink just to escape
now on your way to pay you say it lying on a shelf
a black wooly cap could it fill the void you feel
put it on fix the back pull it down and bam its
chorus: security hat, cause you can't take a chance on society
pull the wool over your eyes but even if you try theres no hiding from reality
just you warm..FUZZY... HAT
thats all i have for that song so far let me know what you think!
Beth