Actually, this really brought to mind some of my favorite music from the Zelda series when I heard it. The scales and key changes you use give it a really fresh sound imo, and the harmony parts come across mystically. I love that sound.
I can look at it one way, and see the form of the piece as a kind of abstract extension to the mysterious sound of the piece, and so artistically not a problem at all. In fact, I probably wouldn't be listening to it over and over again if it didn't come across as so enigmatic to me. But at the same time, I wish there was another version that was more drawn out and developed, just for musical entertainment, outside of games.
Not necessarily more traditionally ordered, with a more traditional form and all that, because I don't think that could be easily accomplished without compromising the feel of the form you have now -- I'm starting to LOVE that. But if there were just more to listen to, I guess. :-/
Also, I think decreasing dynamics at the end would make that more effective, rather than a swelling of sound as if at the end of a dramatic symphony or opera. As a listener, I'd rather it be more like the voices had suddenly had their attention captured and quietly slipped off into another realm just as easily as they had entered at the start of the piece, if that makes any sense, lol.
Awesome job! XD