Thanks! Any criticism at all is welcome.
Actually, looking back, I changed a lot of stuff because it was theoretically the correct thing to do, but I'm not happy with it. The parallel 5ths were there because those notes needed to be there, in the alto section. It comes down to this, I guess: Do I go with what I think will sound good, ignoring all the horrifically egregious mistakes, going only by feel, or do I ignore what I feel the note HAS to be, in exchange for a bullet-proof piece? I know my asking for criticism is a really dumb idea if I don't change stuff just because I feel differently. Hmm.
Now that I look at it, the parallelism in m. 15 is pretty obvious, and sounds quite static. I'm not quite sure what to do with that, because I need to maintain the symmetry between that measure and the first measure of the song. The bass line in m. 16 is probably going to stay, as the descending line is textually important.