Dustin Morningstar

Thank you so much, Graham! Your comment really means a lot to me. I'm glad that you pointed that out. I actually do plan on making this a part of a choral song cycle of three songs. I haven't decided on everything as of yet, but my current idea is to make a Halloween song cycle and include settings of Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" and Act IV Scene I of Shakespeare's "Macbeth" (the famous "double, double, toil and trouble" scene) along with the completed "hist whist". How cool would that be? :w00t: I actually do have another setting of a Cummings poem on my computer based on "the sky was candy" for SSAATTBB Chorus with occasional soli. It's more obviously influenced by Eric Whitacre, but it might be fun to post it, too. I'll have to make some edits, but I think the next thing I'll post is a semi-Minimalistic piece for Oboe, Eb Clarinet, String Quartet, and Marimba (with two personnel) called "Laboratory Mice". Look for that later.

Wow, four languages? That's crazy. :blink: Which ones besides English? I know Latin pretty well, but it's kind of useless for speaking purposes. :laugh: I really wish I knew French and Russian... those are pretty languages. You can refer back to Post #1 for some updated sound files. Maybe that'll make it a little better... Thanks again for your comments!

I think the poem is a little bit of a challenge if you look too much into it, but I felt like that wasn't Cummings's intention. It is a children's poem, after all... To me, it's like multiple children exchanging stories about scary monsters. Being kids, they invent onomatopoetic words and gibberish to describe just how terrible these creatures are. I take great pride in making my scores, so thanks for noticing! :D There is a lot going at once, so it's difficult to avoid some clutter... but I'm glad it was still understandable. Since the poem makes me think of little children talking amongst themselves, it certainly made sense to me for it to be choppy. Children are often surprisingly insightful, but they're also concise: they can give you a paragraph's worth of information within a few words. They mention one monster, and the next thing you know they're talking about something else. You might say that the poem is a juvenile stream of consciousness. I can definitely see how the pauses in the sound file can detract from the experience... I was so insistent on putting them in that I didn't even think how it would sound synthetically. Perhaps I'll post a new file with the fermate omitted so the listening can be more cohesive. Thanks a lot! I had the first four measures swimming around my head for about a year, so I'm glad I found a way to use it effectively. I asked my College Chamber Choir teacher about possibly having this premiered next Autumn, so I might be able to get one! :w00t: That would be so exciting...

The music is really cool. Every once in a while the lyrics bother me by how simplistic they are, but the music supporting it is always inventive and original. It definitely deserves a listen. It's so odd that Eric Whitacre actually started out in a techno punk band in high school... it wasn't until college that he decided to become a "Classical" composer. It's nice to see that he managed to find a way to embrace his roots while creating something totally new and exciting. Eric Whitacre = Love

Could you please post a sound file of some kind? I skimmed through the PDF and it looks quite gorgeous already, but I'd like to hear it fully realized. And I don't have Sibelius, so... Thanks in advance!

A General Perspective Your harmonic language is spectacularly colourful, especially when you're not in strongly tonal zones. Systems 2-3 of p. 2 are fully established in the key of Ab Major, and it provides an interesting contrast to the loosely modal E Major of the beginning. Your modulation at the immediately following tempo change is an incredibly seamless restatement of the original theme. Everything thereafter is simply... lovely. A very placid piece indeed. Suggestions and Advice The main thing you should work on is refinishing the crazily awkward score. It's so awkward that I even had trouble spitting out this review, which can't be good! :sweat: Here are some things to focus on score-wise: i) The way the accidentals are used in the score is very confusing. There are several intervals that look bigger when they're really only whole steps. This can be solved easily enough by modulating into different keys. Like I mentioned earlier, there's a big modulation into Ab Major that isn't reflected in the score at all. ii) There are also some slight metric changes that aren't really shown in the music (especially the last two measures of p. 1 into the first system of p. 2 and the ending). This kind of weakens the title of the piece, but it's still 95% waltz-like. iii) This is a fairly minor issue, but the moments where the right hand is in a lower register can be read much easier if you just transpose to the Bass Clef temporarily instead. Having the 8vb in its place, while achieving the same effect, is fairly unconventional when writing for the right hand. Other than that, there are several instances where you have some thick chords in the left hand at a fairly quiet volume... In most cases this can sound rather muddy and should be cleaned up. Try spacing out the chord(s) or omitting notes that are already present in the right hand. Final Thoughts Nice work! This is really impressive for someone lacking a theory background... it's clear you have good musical instincts. :)

It is a little rangy, but P.J. also pointed out that it could be done with falsetto. Given that you have the men's voices at a quieter dynamic at that point, singing in such a way could very appropriately soften the colour. If that's not what you were intending, then you should change it. There are some cool harmonies throughout (the one that really struck me was the [V] in m. 8 going to the [iii] in m. 9). I think individual parts move kind of awkwardly sometimes. It makes for a bit more interesting rehearsals, but it doesn't really fit into the semi-traditional sound you have. Maybe voice some things a little differently? I can't really give a full review until I see the words along with it, but what you have musically seems to work okay. Get it finished!

A General Perspective I really like the sound of this piece. The individual voice parts move well and in interesting ways. The pseudo-Gregorian chant figures provide a stark, yet intimate contrast to surrounding structures. The way you weave in and out of dissonance, while not entirely new, is refreshing and a delight to hear. The way you approach your cadences is also very effective. It isn't Modern in the sense that Cage, Copland, Ives, or one of the living Minimalists is, but it is using sounds not really heard until very recently. You can also tell this isn't exactly your comfort zone, but I think that very fact works very well for this piece. Given the liturgical Latin text, it's charming to hear the antique, Renaissance/Baroque sound under the Modern facade--an amalgamation of old and new, if you will. Suggestions and Advice Everything in this piece--the way things are shaped, your harmonic choices, the text on which it's based--is similar to something that Morten Lauridsen (I've been bringing him up a lot lately...) would write, which isn't a bad thing by any means. I'm not sure if you drew inspiration from his music or what, but it sounds just a touch derivative. The only thing I would suggest is, in the future if you plan on experimenting with Modern sounds, listen to more Modern choral music and try to create a sound that's uniquely you. Perhaps be a little more tonally adventurous? Other than that... Post a recording! :P Final Thoughts I think this is an excellent effort. This, in my opinion, is better than what Lauridsen would have done; it seems like this piece is more in tune with the text compared to works of his that I know of. Good work!

I'm so glad you took that well. :sweat: You're certainly welcome!

This is epic. :laugh: Excellent work! Jesus most definitely approves.

A General Perspective The poem by Dickinson is wonderful and easily one of my favourites of hers. It comes off, to me, as very personal and painful. It's almost as if the speaker has sinned so terribly that she feels that even the most modest of kindnesses will clear her conscience. I quite like the melody that you constructed. It's a simple and very appropriate supplement to the text. Some of its qualities are lost by the somewhat overslow tempo, but the overall effect is still there and it keeps the piece together well. In the grand scheme of things, though, I don't sense much pain in here. Your setting has a very thick and expansive texture. This is fine and good, but it doesn't sound as personal as it probably could or should be. I understand and advocate the big sound of the choir in your interpretation, but it sounds somehow uneven against the pensive melody that lends itself more to an art song context. This piece is also peppered quite liberally with nontraditional harmonies. My qualms with the texture aside, I think you voiced the chords quite well and they all sound quite nice. Yay for dissonance! However, while cluster chords are supremely effective in conveying complex feelings, it seems to me that you are using them... for the sake of using them. Because of this, less important words (e.g., "the" and "in") manage to suck away power from other essential words in the text like "vain" and "aching". Even when the more important words' antecedents have more of a passing function, much of the desired effect is lost. I could be wrong, but I sense a lot of Eric Whitacre / Morten Lauridsen influence here. While I love both (especially Whitacre), I think your interpretation is too much of a good thing. When the text is applied to the picture it's a little... odd to me--not how I would imagine it. Suggestions and Advice I think your setting would greatly benefit if you give the poem an intensive re-analysis. Memorize the poem and live with it. Carefully read between its lines. As you're recalling it, make mental notes about how each individual word, line, and stanza makes you feel. In deeply personal poems like this, approaching it in a similarly personal way is advisable. If you do that, you may find yourself wanting to simplify some of your chord structures; the main goal, though, is to bring life to the text. Right now, the text seems to be looming over what you've written, never quite coalescing. The other posters suggested trying different tempi. It is a little overslow, but just by a nearly negligible margin. It may just need a feeling of rubato. Final Thoughts As negative as my comments may or may not seem (I tried my best for the latter), I do like this piece. The last thing I want for you to do is think me antagonistic... I just wanted to comment honestly. I might see the poem completely differently.

A General Perspective I imagine a mysterious man walking through the slums and alleyways of a dimly lit downtown district. He has no set destination; his only goal is to get somewhere--away from the life he once knew. It feels, to me, like a soul search. The rainfall at the beginning... The gradual entrance of instruments... This all feels like the city is being approached. The rest of the piece is the man travelling though the city and what he finds along the way. The same music is used throughout in variation, so it's like seeing what makes the city tick. While the harmonic pallette is thin, it has a distinctive pop-rock sound that lends itself to urbanity. In the end the rich texture provided by the instruments stops all at once, leaving only the solo harp from the beginning of the piece. This is coming full-circle--perhaps the man realizing that leaving what he once knew was a mistake? After seeing the inner workings of the city, this is certainly possible. It can be a pretty scary place. Suggestions and Advice The theme and variations style of composition is very effective, but having it prolong for the entire piece without any truly decisive change makes it a little tedious. While I can picture the man seeing a variety of different things along the way (one picture that came to mind was a jazz club at about [2:18] with the bass solo), every picture is fairly static. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you more often than not make your variations on the theme via instrumentation--not enough on the music itself. The man can explore many new places (like uptown! :P) if you were to tinker around with the soundscape a bit with embellishments, minor changes in harmony, etc. Introducing an entirely new theme, for example, would certainly add a healthy dose of drama to the proceedings. After all, no journey is complete without bumps in the road. Final Thoughts Overall, this has lots of potential. It's already incredibly effective as is, but there's quite a bit waiting to happen. Keep up the good work! I remember you saying the other day on the YC Chat that you were slightly embarrassed by the poppy feel of the song. To that I say, don't be. Pop music can be just as effective as "Classical" music as long as you use your resources well.

Hello, everyone! I'm new here, but I've been composing for a while... For a more formal introduction, please click here. Anyway, let's get started! My setting is an ephemeral, through-composed piece intended for SATB Chorus with occasional divisi. Though not by any means atonal, it tends to loosely gravitate around G Minor for most of the piece, ending in a loose Bb Minor. There are many pauses throughout so as to convey a certain breathless, childlike fright. It's pretty theatrical and comical, calling for whispering at some points and screaming / yelling at others. This is, once again, to capture the childish spirit of the poem. -=-=-=- There are some things that should be noted about the upcoming sound files: i) I used for the sound files a woodwind quartet setting to better show voice interplay. While it is not a woodwind quartet, such an arrangement is certainly possible in the future. It would require getting rid of the divisi passages, though. Hmm... ii) Though several fermate are written in the score, I was prompted by steventanoto's following comment to leave them out of the sound files. This is to provide a more cohesive and enjoyable listening experience. Whenever I get a recording (possibly this upcoming Autumn), the pauses will certainly be factored into the final musical product. iii) The sustained notes at various points of entrance [0:39-0:46] are actually intended to be whispers on the word "whisk". Please refer to Rehearsal [C] in the score to see said event. iv) Unusual ringing / buzzing sounds occur in the silences of the "for she knows the devil" quasi-stanza [1:02, 1:06, 1:10]. These are intended to represent the screaming or yelling of the words "ooch", "ouch", and "ach", respectively. This occurs in Rehearsal [D] of the score. v) The final note [1:33-END] is actually intended to be a surprise "wheeEEE" from the entire ensemble. -=-=-=- Alright, enough disclaimer. :P Click here for a nicer, UPDATED .WAV file if you're willing to wait. It's nothing too fancy--just the basic soundfonts that come with FINALE 2009. An UPDATED MIDI and PDF of the sheet music are attached right below, too... Finale 2009 - [hist whist].pdf hist whist.mid