Jared

Sweet! :thumbsup: I'll probably try to give that one a shot.

I'm glad we got that sorted out. =) I knew you weren't being mean, I hope I didn't come off as too much of a whiner :D I would post up some more recent choral pieces of mine to see how they compare to this one, but there aren't really any besides the "Friendship Not Forgotten" one I posted a few posts back. I don't often write for voice.

I know you don't mean any offense, so don't worry about that, none taken. And I don't mean to sound like some spoiled child or anything either :D I'm definitely not totally disregarding everyone's comments, and I understand the points made. Up to this point though, pretty much the only thing talked about has been the "ave maria" at the very beginning. I won't deny there are awkward sections from 5-15, particularly the ones I mentioned before Morivou's first longer post. So I'm not saying my way is always right, just that in that particular instance of "ave maria" I personally don't want a strong "ri" sound, or a strong any sound/syllable for that matter :D I do very much appreciate the comments made though, and I will certainly consider them if I revise this piece and for any choral writing I might do in the future. If there are other sections that have very noticeably awkward text settings, definitely please point them out because I will readily agree that there are inconsistencies throughout the piece that could certainly be fixed, I just may not be fully aware of them :thumbsup: I guess though, that at the beginning portion, everything looks and sounds fine to me, so I'm just defending my choices in that particular section because it is one of the few places in the piece I actually would do so =) I don't speak Latin, and have never studied it, so I wouldn't know much about how it ought to sound. I'm basically basing it on the pieces I've heard in Latin, as well as the few I have sang in Latin. So I'm not trying to say the advice isn't good, because it is. I wrote this piece three years ago, and while I don't really intend on revising it much (mostly since I realized I left like half of the text out...), I will certainly take comments and hopefully consider them fully the next time I write a choral piece.

The first quote you posted is only in reference to the first measure, "Ave Maria". I don't mean that for the entire piece. Certain syllables, yes, not every syllable. I don't want the "ri" brought out right there. I'm not saying I want every syllable throughout the entire piece to have exactly the same amount of stress. Besides, towards the end of the piece, I even do give "ri" a stress... no it isn't on a strong beat, but it is longer than the previous notes as well as having a much more fleshed out harmony than the entire section before it. That was intentional. pianoman, I'm definitely not trying to make it in the business. I just do this as a total hobby... I have no formal training nor am I going to seek any. I'm an English major, and I'll be teaching that the rest of my life. I still disagree that you can't disregard rules just because you don't agree with them, but I guess this is one of those "agree to disagree" situations haha =) I definitely understand everyone's point, and I am not saying anyone is wrong here, I'm just saying I don't feel like musical "rules" are binding. Maybe Bach is turning in his grave as we speak, but that doesn't bother me at all. If no one ever sings anything of mine (which is 99.99% likely to happen because I don't really care at all), that's completely fine with me.

How so? I never said I felt there should never be an accented syllable, if that's what you mean? (Unless something I said came off that way, which I certainly didn't mean for it to!)

Well that's not to say I want a constant drone or anything :D there are some accented syllables I want... :whistling: TTBB - Friendship Not Forgotten -- is this awkward too? There are some parts of this I think kind of are but I'd be interested in hearing your take on it.

deathraider, Perhaps with the "ri," yes, fair enough, but I think the "PLE-na" is plenty pronounced enough, given that it is on the highest notes (with the exception of the alto part) in each voice. I very much understand there are stressed syllabus and that these stresses are different for each language; I guess what I mean to say is, I don't really care if a syllable is stressed or not. Nothing sounds awkward to me about "ri" not falling on a particularly strong beat, because at the beginning of the piece the whole entire phrase should be soft and even--I don't really want ANY accents at all, to be honest. Perhaps this is just plain wrong, but I don't see it that way... If I had a single voice sing "a-ve ma-ri-a" on a single note, I don't want any, even subtle, accents, and it is that kind of effect I want to employ in that particular measure. Who says Poulenc isn't right? :D I'm not familiar with him so I can't comment on that, but I don't see why I should have to conform to an exact system of syllable accentuation just because it is "right" or "correct" according to most people. I don't want the singers to think about bringing out certain syllables, because I don't necessarily want certain syllables brought out anyway :D I don't think the "ri," in that particular measure, should sound any differently than any other syllable. For instance, a person speaking English with a southern US accent might pronounce a word with different emphasis than one with a northern accent, or British, or Australian, or whatever. I don't really care who is "right," I guess. Each has their own flavo(u)r, and I think that can carry across all languages and even into music itself. And you aren't being condescending, I hope I don't sound too anal or defensive lol I'm just trying to state my opinion clearly :D Morivou, Perhaps I will go back and change it, but I guess I don't see why I should when, regardless of what meter it is in, it will sound exactly the same... Maybe I should put the entire thing in 1/4 except for sustained notes =) but I guess changing meters/beats might be beneficial since everyone else sees it as such. I'm glad you liked parts of the piece though, musically. Any comments on good or bad things in particular that stuck out?

I don't particularly see how it is "GRA-ti-A ple-NA" in my piece... I understand that technically the "gra" and "a" fall on the "strong" beats, but I think by virtue of physics the "ple" in that measure is much more strong and accented than any of the previous. I realize I have an accent over "na" in the upper voices, but this was more to bring out the dissonance in playback rather than shout out "na". I just don't quite get it I guess, I can sing each voice in that beginning line and nothing sounds awkward about it to me. I don't feel like the stress should come because it lies on a certain beat. I understand yes, typically the strong beats are 1 and 3, but I don't feel it has to be that way. I guess overall I just kind of disagree over the virtue of certain accentuated syllabus, as I don't feel that "ri" sticks out any more, or should stick out any more than Ma or A... but that's just my opinion =) When I say "Ave Maria" I don't really go "ave maRIIIa"... I guess I could put sections of it in 3/4 so the right syllabus line up on the 'strong' beats but I don't think it would sound or be any different fundamentally. I don't know that I've ever heard an Ave Maria where it didn't start on the downbeat, actually. Granted I've only heard a few though :whistling: "A Je Ha" is a total mistake, I addressed that in my last post (which you probably hadn't read cause you were posting this so I'm not trying to get on to you :D ) I don't mean to sound totally anal here if I do! =) I totally welcome your comments and critiques, thanks for taking the time to give them :thumbsup:

deathraider, Yea my syllables (vowels) are definitely off in some places. When I wrote that I was thinking mulieribus could be like kind of smeared so to speak, like pronounce the lier as two syllables but in the place of one (think Shakespeare poetry haha where he'll leave syllables out of words to make them fit or rhyme). I realize this isn't exactly the most...efficient way to accomplish this =) Thanks for the critique! And yes 16-17 in the basses is definitely a mistake... remnants of old text, it would seem. Thanks for pointing it out! Also, I'm glad you like the harmony. There are some parts I am not pleased with harmonically, mainly 9-12 (which I'm not pleased with in general). But other places, I'm pretty happy with the sound. I like the harmony in measures 7-8 the most, probably. Anyway, thanks again for all of your comments! I'm glad you listened =) Morivou, Thanks for commenting, and I look forward to reading what you have to say. I understand in some places it is awkward indeed, but I think going as far as saying it is unsingable is a bit much; I've sung more awkward pieces, both textually and musically so I don't fully understand what you mean there. Some things I'll point out and see if your opinion matches up (about awkward text setting that is) m. 10, "tecum" in the soprano m. 11-12, "inmulieribus" in the soprano/alto m. 14-15, "fructus ventris" in the bass Also I made another setting error, "lui" should be "tui" (and split up) Some parts I perhaps start a new musical phrase before a textual phrase has ended... m. 14-15 in general is a hot mess, textually as well as musically =) Anyway, thanks for commenting and I look forward to seeing your full critique! :D

I am kind of confused as to what you mean by oblique motion--I see that 9-12 is that way (with the low droning harmony), but I don't really see it anywhere else. Is it throughout the whole piece, or just in isolated sections? Yea I could definitely give minimizing the harmony a shot, particularly in 9-12, which is the worst section of the piece (I think). It isn't varied or broad enough to really support that much divisi. Thanks for your comments!

This is really neat! I don't have much else to say besides that. It was very driving and rhythmic, and even the sustained notes had a moving feeling to them. Great job, this is really cool =)

This was composed for the August Monthly Competition. The idea was to take an emotion and score a piece that evokes/represents that emotion. I chose apprehension. The name "Triton Sounds the Shell" comes from mythology, and is a lame play on words for my use of tritones :whistling: Anyway, this piece is supposed to evoke the terrible event of Triton sounding his shell, which brings about great destruction and what not. Anyway, here is the piece! Let me know what you think. Triton Sounds the Shell.mp3

Hey guys, Here's a setting of "Ave Maria" that I have done. I did this quite a while ago and forgot about it, so I figured I would post it up for some feedback. I'm considering maybe trying to show this to the chorus director at my school if I feel I can revise it to be good enough :whistling: Oh, and I just realized, apparently it isn't finished because the entire text isn't set... ^^ Ave Maria.mp3 Ave Maria.pdf

Hey man, This is quite a mixed bag. There are some things I really like and some not so much. First, I really enjoy the harmony. For some reason to me, throughout the entire thing, dissonant portions included, your harmony really had me engaged. It felt totally appropriate to me at all times. I just thought it was really neat =) Also, as repetitive as the ostinato is, I think you've done a fair job with it. The beginning is very busy-bee and fitting to your description, though it may be a hair too, "major" I guess :whistling: Perhaps some variations with a more sinister sound, as the people realize just how deadly this thing they are preparing for really is. Things I didn't like: I didn't particularly care for the orchestration of the ostinato itself. I'm not even entirely sure that strings playing pizzicato could play that ostinato, but regardless I think the sound would grow quickly tiresome. It is just a bit too bouncy, and I think it'd be more fitting in keyboard percussion and woodwinds rather than pizzicato. The beginning also might go on a little too long. The ostinato is cool but as others have said, it becomes a little too intense on the listener after a while (which is fitting to the theme, true :D ) Overall though, great job! This is much better than the hurricane piece Ive written haha (granted it was in an hour for a contest with my brother!) Good job!