The Dark Scrolls of Bavidirian

I’m trying to write a song for a fantasy game called The Dark Scrolls of Bavidirian.

I have no clue what I’m doing and I’m open to any and all suggestions.

I’m extremely lame in music theory. I’m extremely lame as a musician as well. And I can’t sing worth a darn, but I’m the only voice available at the moment.

So far I’ve only written the first verse to this piece. I started improvising it live on the guitar. Then I typed it into the sheet music program. I put it in the key of A only because that seemed to work the best as far as accidentals are concerned. I have no clue what key I’m even in. Am I in the key of A? Or E? Or some other minor key? I’m using the E chord and D chord, but I’m also using the A-note as part of the base line with the D-chord.

I have no clue what I’m doing. I just make noise.

I put in some cello to beef up the base, but it just plays the same thing as the guitar. I’m trying to add flute, violin and clarinet just for fun. I didn’t type in the melody for the lyrics. I just sing them and I have no clue what notes they are. I did write in the lyrics beneath the guitar though.

Two things I’m concerned at this point:

1. One is the lead in measures. I’m not happy with this lead-in, but it sounds better than just blasting into it straight. I would like to give it a better lead-in. Something that makes it sound like it’s ‘waking up from a deep sleep. I could even add more measures to the beginning.

2. The other thing that I’m concerned with is measure 20 where the violin and clarinet play together. Are they clashing? I wanted to get the flute in there too and have all three of them doing something differnet and distinct but I have no clue how to do that.

Anyway, should I continue with this or just go hide my head in a bucket?

Here are the files:

Music mp3 file (900 KB)

PDF Score

I can post a midi if anyone wants it. It will be minus the lyrics of course.

Any help, comments, boos or hisses are welcome.

As far as progressions go, I’m looking at moving onward to Bm and A. for the next verse in a similar manner that I did with E and D. Then from there I’m looking at moving on to C#m and G. For a third verse.

Then I was planning on “walking” back down G, C#m, Bm, A, and back to the original E and D where it all started.

I realize that this probably sounds crazy. I’m not using any theory at all, I’m just jumping around on the guitar with what seems to work for me. But then again, I do want this piece to have an “unearthly sound” to it. After all, it is supposed to be from an unearthly fantasy land. ;)

This is what I’m striving for. I kind of want it to sound a bit ‘strange’ or ‘alien’ in a way.

So any help or comments would be appreciated.

I posted this in the wrong forum.

It should have been posted in "Incomplete Works; Writer's Block and Suggestions"

Sorry for the error. I meant to post it in the other forum and posted it here entirely by mistake. If someone could move it to the proper forum I'd appreciate it. Thanks.