Dealing with Disappointment.

Composition is normally a way for me to relieve my stress or disappointments. It is my way of expressing my feelings...good and bad. But what do you do when a composition "dream" of yours does not happen the way you want it to? Yes, I understand that you have to be tough and just keep working, but I am having a problem with this right now.

I'm graduating and the band does not want to perform my piece at graduation. I'm excited that it is being played at the concert the next night, but I put my heart and soul into this piece as a goodbye to everyone at my school. Yes, I do want recognition, but everyone does and I don't feel it is wrong to feel that way. The "best" and "favorite" piece of concert band season is played at graduation. I'm tring to rid the feelings of "my piece is not good enough" and just be happy to have my piece performed. I have had the advantage of having almost all of my complete pieces played. This will be my third concert band composition to be performed....my first orginal...the other two were Christmas arrangements. So, this means a lot to me....I'm just in a little pain over graduation.

I sure hope this is appropriate for this forum. I just thought if I heard some experiences everyone here had here might help in some way. I'm the only composer around here and people can sometimes have a hard time fulling understanding.

I have talk to my director about this...if you are wondering. But the band took the vote and chose "Phantom of the Opera." I just figured they would want to do something special for me since it is my graduation. I guess not.

Holy crap that's some bad action on your band's part. Phantom of the Opera at graduation? What the hell?

A similar thing happened to me, only not quite so much, because our school's choir was going to do a song for the senior class, and I arranged a version of "The Parting Glass," which is an Irish drinking song. So, needless to say, the director thought it wouldn't be appropriate, although the words are perfect:

Of all the money that e'er I had, I spent it in good company,

And all the harm I've ever done, alas it was to none but me.

And all I've done for want of wit to memory now I can't recall,

So fill to me the parting glass: Goodnight and joy be to you all.

So fill to me the parting glass, and drink a health, or e'er be false,

And gently rise and softly call "Goodnight and joy be to you all."

So you see, apart from the references to alcohol...

But seriously, that sucks. They should ALWAYS choose student works for graduations. Come on, (your hight school)!

I know....I just don't understand it. Sure, the piece isn't done by a "professional"...but still, I was almost sure they would want to do it. Yes, Phantom of the Opera is much cleaner...because we have had it longer. That shouldn't matter. I know it is not all about me (as I was told)....but still...it is to a certain extent. If I had not put so many hours on this piece....I don't think I would be in the shape I am now. I feel like a whimp because I have cried several times over this....I am almost embarrassed at posting that....but that is how upset I have been getting. I have to get over this....because graduation should be a happy time and not otherwise. The bad thing is....I am one of the most optimistic people around. I'm not used to dealing with this. Yes, I've had disappointments by losing several compositions contests, but when this is so close to home...it gets personal.

Here is How I Feel about the issue. No one cares how hard you work on anything. They have ever right to reject your music because it isn't their favorite. You are right. It wasn't good enough for them. They choose something they like better. Sure it hurts but, to them, they like POTO better. I assume that you are not the only one graduating. So overall, this graduation isn't only about you.

Oh God is that the Phantom of the Opera where they have some girl scream in the middle of it? What a cheesy arrangement. I did that one when I was in high school.

Actually, when I was in high school, my last concert with the band, we played my Danny Elfman Medley, which was the only piece of mine my school played. I was very grateful for the opportunity, and I believe you should be grateful that you've had more than one work played already!! Your piece is getting performed, right? If a professional orchestra was playing your magnum opus and suddenly they moved it back to the next concert date, aside from traveling purposes for you and/or family, would you be ticked off?

I think the fact that you dedicated it to your graduating class is all that should really matter. Dates are only manmade creations, afterall. It's the thought that counts. I know that may seem irrelevant and stupid, but it's true. Put the dedication in the program, and people will get the point. Even if it is one day late. :whistling:

Cheer up about it.

Bitterduck - Please try not to be so harsh, he's already had a hard enough time with this whole business, I'm sure he doesn't need strangers telling him he should have feelings.

Dude I don't know how you feel.

I've had a lot of my original jazz tunes done by our choir and jazz band, and I've had a couple of my concert band pieces done to, as well as a couple piano tunes. I wrote "A Husky Howl" for graduation, and I hope that they can play it, but if they can't, that's fine by me.

I really feel upset with your classmates. It's actually quite shallow on their part. I mean, what does your tune sound like?

And secondly, the choirmaster denied doing a drinking song? Holy scraggy, what a fuckin prude. Pardon my French, but how the hell is that innapropriate? A song about camraderie, enjoying the company of others, and he doesn't do it because it's a DRINKING SONG? Well, HELLO, I was thinking of doing a Cantata on 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. How the Hell do you think THAT will turn out!

I fuckin hate prudes for teachers. They're so gay. Why not suspend 20 out of 40 kids for drinking in Greece on a field trip? That happened to me, eh? It's because our teacher is a Christian fundamentalist prick. No place for them in Canada.

That always hurts but we soldier on. I've sent scores, offering to forward a piano "try-out" or to come and discuss it, the parts are written out ready - a mass of work - and the thing comes back with a 'no thanks'.

But then, composing is a mode of expression beyond words so I try to shrug it off and get down to something new when the mood strikes me. For this reason I've tended to write shorter pieces - simply less work; or for ensembles, people I know.

Worse here, though, with expectations and the ceremonial implications. Sorry to hear.

M

I've thought about this for a day or two. I feel your band made a mistake, and your band director made an even worse one by allowing high-schoolers to decide this issue democratically, whether your piece was up for consideration or not. I don't think directors should ever do that.

That said, this is a lesson in life. Montpellier touched on it when he mentioned expectations. Expectations are the cause of a great deal of pain and suffering, even when they're reasonable or logical. Whether concerning your music as in this case, or when you fall in love (she hasn't said so yet, but I just know she loves me!), or at work (I'm the right man for this job...I'm sure to get that promotion!), or anywhere else in life, avoid having too many expectations. Disappointments are unavoidable, but expectations make them more frequent and far more painful.

I know how you feel. In my college Concert Band, we had an award for most oustanding senior member of the band. It was supposed to go to the senior band member who contributed the most to making the band sound great, etc...

My senior year, I rewrote the coda to one work (because everybody agreed the original one just plain stunk), and wrote an original work that we performed. When it came time to vote, my younger brother who was also in the band said that we should vote for somebody who actually made a contribution to the band (and there was only one person who had done something clearly visible). Instead, one of the popular girls who didn't do anything except show up to rehearsals won.

A lot of people resented me because I was able to contribute and outshine them musically. But you know what, at the end of the day, I still had piece performed and they cannot take that away.

That is what you need to remember. Your music is going to be performed. They cannot take that away. Yes, it does suck, but you have something you'll always treasure. Don't spoil the occassion for yourself. That's exactly what your detractors want you to do.

Well, I'm doing much better with this. I was able to put it aside during graduation and have some fun with the Phantom of the Opera. (Nickthoven, it was not the arrangement you are talking about...thank goodness!)

Thanks for all the advice....(Even Bitterduck's.....kinda reminds me of a saying: "You gotta be tough kid to live in this big bad world.") The concert turned out quite well and I even got a standing ovation!! (Or however you spell it.) This whole ordeal was a huge learning experience for me and I have to accept what happens and look forward to the future. Much of my band does have faith in my future career as a composer...and so does my director. I've decided to put any anger to the side because I would not be where I am at today if it were not for my director.

Yes, I sound slightly cheezy....but that's the plain truth. And life goes on....

That's the spirit, cheesy or not. :(