Originality Problem!

All right... so, I am having a problem. There's an instrumental pop piece I wrote back in 2004 that I really like, and have become very attached to. But, I found out a few years after I wrote it, that it sounded a little too similar to a song that was already written... too similar for comfort. So, I revised it, then uploaded it here. However, people still say it sounds a lot like someone else's song. I'll link to it here.

http://www.youngcomposers.com/pg/Music/JairCrawford/composition?entry=35801

I REALLY want to fix this. What I did to change it from my original version, was mainly changes in the chord progression, and I added some instrument tracks to it also. But I feel like there's a lot more I need to change about this to make it sound more original. I REALLY want to salvage this piece, because I like it a lot, so any help/tips are very much appreciated! :D

Many pop pieces end up being too close for comfort. I can see why you may wish to change the melody when it comes in, but until then don't worry about it. Most pop pieces follow similar progressions. For example, I was able to sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow over your song. If you're uncomfortable with it, change the melody. You don't have to change the chords.

I think this is easier said than done. If one looks at any young composers work -regardless of genre- you will see a clear influence from any number number of sources. That's just the way art works. You start with a foundation somewhere.. and then as you become more comfortable you begin to find your own voice. Make sense? Mind you some will disagree with this - which is normal, not everyone shares this view.

Being "unoriginal" is not problem. In fact finding a distinctive voice is the novel amalgamation of influences or rejection of them (for the latter extramusical or areas entirely outside music are great catalysts for it - Scelsi is a good example and Rebel in his final works (Les Elements) are great examples).

And honestly so what if you are not original. I think Jair the problem is from what I hear of your pop songs,you are following the models too slavishly

The problem isn't so much with you and your inability to be original, the problem is the style you choose to write in. You basically wrote every 90's love ballad every written and happen have to same flow of my heart will go on. Unlike what everyone else here is saying, I did believe the first time I listened to it that it was really my heart will go on plus some modifications. To me, that is to close for comfort, like under pressure and ice ice baby. Different songs completely, but geeeez that backtrack sure sounds like under pressure.

The truth of the matter is that you won't ever write another pop song that is completely different than every other pop song out there. Some styles are so narrow that it basically is required for you to have a lot of things the same - for example reggaeton is essentially the same beat and backtrack except different flows and break aways. That is what the style demands. A 90's pop piano ballad will basically sound the same.

What you want to do is make it different enough. What does this mean? A lot of things. I depend on my lyrical flows. My wife depends on her voice. Some of my partners depend on how they produce the takes. It's hard to make something sound your own within a set style and using only one instrument. So if you're expect complete originality in this piece, i think you are expecting to much. Pop isn't about being original, it is about enjoyment.

In regards to your track, I think the problem is... you're not being adventurous enough. You have a nice progression BUT does it need to be set the way you have it? What can you add to accentuate it? Can you change the way that it flows? Perhaps, change the melody? It's really up to you... make it your own!

Drake makes a very good point - and basically is the source of your problem. You love certain pop that has very rigid parameters which preclude a great degree of originality ... one can say the same of fugues. That is why some of Bach fugues are so great in that he breaks just enough from the model to create something quite original (and Handel to a lesser scale and totally different setting achieves that though less often). Yet even in Bach and Handel you run into fugues that are pretty academic - c'mon there are some slightly dull fugues in WTC.

Anyway, you could do what Beethoven did for the fugue - check out the Hammerklavier fugue. I really don't care for it as a whole though I like parts of it. But what beethoven did was take an impossible subject for a fugue and carried on with it. He did make life a tiny bit easier by having a "tail" - that is a sequence of stepwise fast descending motion. So why not take a melodic shape or rhythm from a foreign pop style that you wouldn't associate iwth your favored pop style and turn it into a 90's ballad without really trying to do so?

Thanks for all the comments! I think, the next step is to tweak the melody some. The chord progression was a problem with my original version, but I already tweaked the chords a while back. Though, maybe I could make some of the chords a tad bit more jazzy, do you think that would help?

Also... I'm generally getting the impression from you guys that the main problem is, I'm trying TOO hard to follow the style (in this case 80's-90's Pop Ballads). So I'm wondering... crossover of styles... in the future, would that be a good tactic to use? Only problem is, even though I like a good variety of different styles, they are all so different from each other. I mean... I like mostly 80's-Early 90's Pop ballads, 80's Rock, 90's Rock/Grunge, Various types of Heavy Metal, Techno/Trance, Late Classical, Romantic, Neo-Romantic, and Romantic Era style Film Scores, and certain Video Game Soundtracks. lol I mean, It would be pretty tough to cross-over using those, wouldn't it?