In Your Opinion, Does This Sound Good? What Should I Do To Make It Better?

Its my first take on a violin sonata, and its also the first time i've acutally created a NEW cleff to help me write notes above C6 and C7 more easily. I want to hear from you guys, does it sound good?

https://soundcloud.com/luideca/experimental-e-flat-sonata

Sheet: https://scontent-a-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/10155905_570161739764993_1867735380989671691_n.jpg

EDIT: fixed buggy sound

No

It sounds promising but it hard to tell what its going to do or how to improve it based on this very small sample.

no.

atonality may be debateble, but arrhythmically? that's not excusable to me. if you don't have a good rhythm, you don't have a piece. (just harmony. sort of like shapeless colors on a painting  without any drawing. how interesting is that?)

What is wrong with using 8va or 15ma signs?

 if you don't have a good rhythm, you don't have a piece. (just harmony. sort of like shapeless colors on a painting  without any drawing. how interesting is that?)

lol ok

 

"

What is wrong with using 8va or 15ma signs?

"

I didn't know you could do that! :o thanks. I still kind of prefer to use different cleffs.

 

no.

atonality may be debateble, but arrhythmically? that's not excusable to me. if you don't have a good rhythm, you don't have a piece. (just harmony. sort of like shapeless colors on a painting  without any drawing. how interesting is that?)

um... Atonality? I stayed very loyal to the E flat Major key, man. It also feels like it has no rythm because its still in its early stages :D

Also, this piece doesn't have all that much rythm and it still sounds really good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4VtM-bTXQ

 

 

No

But... What souds wrong? The samples i used, maybe?

Nothing wrong with creating your own clefs when the circumstances call for it. I do that sometimes.

I didn't know you could do that! :o thanks. I still kind of prefer to use different cleffs.

 

 

 

 

um... Atonality? I stayed very loyal to the E flat Major key, man. It also feels like it has no rythm because its still in its early stages :D

Also, this piece doesn't have all that much rythm and it still sounds really good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4VtM-bTXQ

 

 

 

But... What souds wrong? The samples i used, maybe?

i wasn't saying your piece is atonal. it's phrasing is "dodgy". the ending is lacking. i see no idea in it. the violing dodges it even more, proving the lack of statement/idea.

and the world operates in modules. so the whole point is the transformations you do to the modules (not the beauty of the module itself). but this piece is so short that there's not much to observe (and be impressed by).

again that violin tryies to hide your first operation to the module. after that it ends (hope i'm not too brutal with my explanaition)

i can listen to midi, if the piece is good.. the samples are ok.

my usual advice is to pay attention to rhythm (i mean phrasing.. basically the rhythm content of the melody voice). it has to be functional.

i read composition books which not mention rhythm, and after explaining in detail the workings of the harmony, they conclude: "but all this means nothing if you don't have talent". well if you get creative (and everyone can) and know the harmony language.. then where exactly does the talent come in? my answer is: there's a missing piece, and that's the language of rhythm.

oh that was a bold statement here on HarmonyFetish ..sorry YoungComposers i meant. lol

i wasn't saying your piece is atonal. it's phrasing is "dodgy". the ending is lacking. i see no idea in it. the violing dodges it even more, proving the lack of statement/idea.

and the world operates in modules. so the whole point is the transformations you do to the modules (not the beauty of the module itself). but this piece is so short that there's not much to observe (and be impressed by).

again that violin tryies to hide your first operation to the module.

 

i can listen to midi, if the piece is good.. the samples are ok.

my usual advice is to pay attention to rhythm (i mean phrasing.. basically the rhythm content of the melody voice). it has to be functional. 

i read composition books which not mention rhythm, and after explaining in detail the working of the harmony, the conclude: "but all this means nothing if you don't have talent". well if you get creative (and everyone can) and know the harmony language.. then where does exactly does the talent come in? my answer is: there's a missing piece, and that's the language of rhythm.

oh that was a bold statement here on HarmonyFetish ..sorry YoungComposers i meant. lol

Oh i get it now :D thanks. Do you have any books in particular that you could recomend me?

 

 

Nothing wrong with creating your own clefs when the circumstances call for it. I do that sometimes....

Holy crap did i laugh with that post man! XD no joke!

I am pretty sure i left a legend in the bottom of the sheet though :P

oh i wish i could read stuff that i'm interested from a book. no.. there's no book. after a whole winter on theorising maybe i could start to write a book. lol.