strings Child's Play (String quintet)

Hello Guys! I need help with this string quintet. I'm satisfied with the main theme at the beginning but I do not know how to continue the piece. As you can I see I have written two suggestions in the score, but I'm not really happy with any of them. The title is called "Child's play" because I was inspired by children playing in the schoolyard, and I want to keep the spirit for the song, that's why the sad part doesn't go well with the energy in the beginning.

Oh, and I'm not sure what form to use, I was thinking "rondo".

Thanks a lot for any help

I cannot see, actually. Please attach a score. :) 

18 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

I cannot see, actually. Please attach a score. :) 

 

Hmm. Strange, now it should be there. Thanks for noticing

If you were to use either, they would need to fleshed out in terms of parts a little bit more, I think. The melody transfers I'm hearing don't always work out smoothly. Rondo form would be a little interesting, considering you're going to probably use a relative or parallel minor key in the middle section, which is something you were kind of worried about if I read correctly. Also, either of these sections in this form would have to transposed up to D major in rondo form. 

Personally, since they're so short, I would first flesh them out a little bit and string them together somehow. Audiences tend to grasp onto longer lines better than a bunch of short lines (at least in large quantities). I'm a little bit interested how you would end up in C minor for your "to the end" section so that can play out, but time will tell. 

The style here is so classic that I think you should attach to the classics forms of rondó. But apart from the simple ABA form there are other more interesting, like the rondó in five parts.

This five part rondó allows you strongers contrasts between parts. That's what I'm missing here, because the texture and the melody is beautiful, but it always sounds similar. I suppose that what you call suggestion 1 and 3 (there is a suggestion 2?) are possible subordinates... Although they are different, the spirit is similar. I would think about modulations, por example. OK, if you want to stick strictly to the classics, then follow to the letter the rules.

One interesting thing I sudied about modulations in this clasic forms is this: if you are in G maj, and want to modulate to the dominant, for example, Dmaj, insert a short phrase modulating to the tonality one accidental further:  Gmaj - Amaj - Dmaj.....

Well, again there are many options. In pieces like this one, once I have the main theme, I make a draft for the whole compositions (parts, tonalities, contrasts...).

3 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

If you were to use either, they would need to fleshed out in terms of parts a little bit more, I think. The melody transfers I'm hearing don't always work out smoothly. Rondo form would be a little interesting, considering you're going to probably use a relative or parallel minor key in the middle section, which is something you were kind of worried about if I read correctly. Also, either of these sections in this form would have to transposed up to D major in rondo form. 

Personally, since they're so short, I would first flesh them out a little bit and string them together somehow. Audiences tend to grasp onto longer lines better than a bunch of short lines (at least in large quantities). I'm a little bit interested how you would end up in C minor for your "to the end" section so that can play out, but time will tell. 

 

Thank you so much for taking time commenting my piece, it means a lot. Now, I wonder what you mean by fleshed out, in this case? Do you mean the melody should be heard more clearly? And thanks for the notes about the stringing together of lines, and you made a good point about modulation. Actually the part "to the end" (in lack of other names) was the end of a minor form, so my thoughts was into modulation but now that you say it, it is better to modulate to D. This was helpful, have a good day!

2 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

The style here is so classic that I think you should attach to the classics forms of rondó. But apart from the simple ABA form there are other more interesting, like the rondó in five parts.

This five part rondó allows you strongers contrasts between parts. That's what I'm missing here, because the texture and the melody is beautiful, but it always sounds similar. I suppose that what you call suggestion 1 and 3 (there is a suggestion 2?) are possible subordinates... Although they are different, the spirit is similar. I would think about modulations, por example. OK, if you want to stick strictly to the classics, then follow to the letter the rules.

One interesting thing I sudied about modulations in this clasic forms is this: if you are in G maj, and want to modulate to the dominant, for example, Dmaj, insert a short phrase modulating to the tonality one accidental further:  Gmaj - Amaj - Dmaj.....

Well, again there are many options. In pieces like this one, once I have the main theme, I make a draft for the whole compositions (parts, tonalities, contrasts...).

 

Tjank you also, Luis Hernández, for taking time commenting! It means a lot.

It is so good to get a push or nudge in the right direction. You and Monarcheon was both mentioning form and modulation, so many good points there. I think I will go with the simpler ABA form and modulate to the Dominant on part B. D is also a very nice clear major key which should bring out the good stuff from the melody. And writing a plan for the whole piece sounds like a good idea. Now I can go on working with my piece, it's been stranded for about 2 years now and you two got me started again. Thanks!

Did you finish this piece? I really like your style.

19 hours ago, DarrenEngland said:

Did you finish this piece? I really like your style.

 

Thanks for asking. I got a little stuck in the process, I wrote it more melodic but then I felt I lost the essence and energy that the song had before.
So I kinda gave up, unfortunately.