scriabin53 Posted December 4, 2016 Posted December 4, 2016 Greetings all. This is my first post. I'm not actually that young (33), but this seems like an active forum with lots of good advice being given. I've been working on this piece for quite a while, and it is still very much a work in progress, but I'm interested in all of your feedback, critiques, ideas for improvement, etc. Score: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9HY2GoDR54AVTVyZHRsMHRWVE0 MP3: https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B9HY2GoDR54AN2h4UWh1bVdBWVU Thanks so much! Quote
Monarcheon Posted December 6, 2016 Posted December 6, 2016 It's pretty good. Some of the atonality felt a little... unjustified? This was rare, but sometimes I felt like it was weird for weirdness's sake rather than compositional integrity. A lot of care put into the score, I appreciate that. I recall thinking that it was a bit too sectionalized in how it carried itself, especially with key. It should have driven more to that new section rather than smash-cut into the new one. But it's very good overall. Good job! Quote
scriabin53 Posted December 6, 2016 Author Posted December 6, 2016 (edited) Thank you very much for your feedback. That's interesting that you felt it was too atonal at times, and I'm curious to learn which sections you felt were weird for their own sake--that's certainly never my goal, but I certainly want to work toward eliminating that impression from my music (and actually I've been criticized before for being too functional/Brahmsian in my harmonic language; I suppose it's possible that I'm unconsciously overcompensating for that in this work). I agree that the piece feels too sectional; one of my goals in the piece (which I don't think was realized) was actually to make the piece approximate a stream-of-consciousness/internal-discourse narrative form, which tends to shift from idea to idea quickly and often but maintaining unity and continuity; I tried to unify the thematic material with micro-motives that would be common to contrasting adjacent theme groups; specific micro-motives throughout the piece were falling half-steps, pairs of falling thirds, 5-note circular neighbor figures (e.g., F-E-D-F-E), and snap-rhythms. I was striving for a piece that would have lots lot of surface contrast but unity through dense layering of these small-scale themes, but I sacrificed a lot in the way of developing phrase-length material for longer than a few phrases, which I agree makes the piece lose a lot of the formal cohesiveness necessary to hold a 25 minute piece together effectively. Edited December 6, 2016 by scriabin53 Quote
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