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Posted (edited)

This is my rondo in Bflat from my violin sonata. This piece is about the secret crush I had on my first music theory teacher, whose name was Meredith. I don't know where she is now, but this is my ode to our love.

This is my first time sharing some of my music on this site. Thank you in advance to those of you who take a listen!

The rondo is in ABACAB form, with a coda at the end.

Edited by Seni-G
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Posted

It's pretty good and flows quite nicely. I'd recommend checking on some of those non-harmonic tones. Some don't really resolve nicely and stick out. Some of your enharmonic spellings are also incorrect. Measure 41, for example. Could have been a MIDI problem but it didn't seem like there was a definite high point either.
Overall, very nice, fluid work. Cheers!

Posted

Thanks for the feedback! For that measure 41 problem (violin part), would you recommend using G flat and A doubleflat? Or would you alternate between G flat and G natural? Thanks!

Posted (edited)

Nice work.

m. 57-62 sounds really messy and out of place to me. There's so much dissonance and a little too much movement in the piano that it just feels kind of screechy, for lack of a better word. Dissonance and that type of overwhelming thick sound with lots of movement is fine, but it needs context within the piece, which I feel that moment lacks.

I don't know if this is intentional, but it sounds like this piece is constantly warring between whether it's major or minor.

I really like m. 114-230, I love how it develops and then transitions into the theme again, and I also really like the idea that comes after the theme is restated.

Around 231 I feel like the piano part is getting a little messy again - you have 3 different voices in the piano going on simultaneously while the violin is still playing. And at least to me, this sounds like the main melody is in the more simple violin part at that section, so it needs to come out and be clear above all that. (Unlike around m. 385 where the piano is dominant and violin is just accompanying). You do a good job of this at m. 553 where even though the piano has moving notes it's the violin still comes out clearly with the melody.

The section m. 270 really grabbed me, that's heartstrings pulling moment right there.

m.450 I'm assuming that run upwards in the violin part is supposed to be slurred as it's slurred every other time it appears.

Good job overall. I noticed that it feels like you're more at home with writing for violin when you're using it's low register, interestingly enough. When the violin is in the lower register it's always very interesting and beautiful, but when it's stays higher for a while it tends to get messy and a little dull.

 

 

Edited by SebastianViola
  • Like 1
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
On 12/21/2016 at 9:12 AM, SebastianViola said:

Nice work.

m. 57-62 sounds really messy and out of place to me. There's so much dissonance and a little too much movement in the piano that it just feels kind of screechy, for lack of a better word. Dissonance and that type of overwhelming thick sound with lots of movement is fine, but it needs context within the piece, which I feel that moment lacks.

I don't know if this is intentional, but it sounds like this piece is constantly warring between whether it's major or minor.

I really like m. 114-230, I love how it develops and then transitions into the theme again, and I also really like the idea that comes after the theme is restated.

Around 231 I feel like the piano part is getting a little messy again - you have 3 different voices in the piano going on simultaneously while the violin is still playing. And at least to me, this sounds like the main melody is in the more simple violin part at that section, so it needs to come out and be clear above all that. (Unlike around m. 385 where the piano is dominant and violin is just accompanying). You do a good job of this at m. 553 where even though the piano has moving notes it's the violin still comes out clearly with the melody.

The section m. 270 really grabbed me, that's heartstrings pulling moment right there.

m.450 I'm assuming that run upwards in the violin part is supposed to be slurred as it's slurred every other time it appears.

Good job overall. I noticed that it feels like you're more at home with writing for violin when you're using it's low register, interestingly enough. When the violin is in the lower register it's always very interesting and beautiful, but when it's stays higher for a while it tends to get messy and a little dull.

 

 

 

Thank you so much for the heartfelt and thorough feedback. That really means a lot that you took such time and care with your review. You make some really excellent points. And thank you for saying that your heartstrings were successfully tugged. That's the best compliment someone can give.

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