Piano-Cello composition by autodidact

Hi guys,

I'm the self taught musician from this previous post :

I just worked on this new composition - and I got also inspired by some of your feedback from that previous post.

As I have no theoretical knowledge whatsoever about composition and learned playing by ear, I try to follow your comments that get quickly technical for me sometimes :)

Your feedback would be highly appreciated!

Nizar

I feel like the cello can have a bigger role in playing the melody in this one. 
The chord progressions were much smoother and nicer than the other one, with exception of the dominant chord (D, F#, A) which often clashed with the subtonic (F, A, C), which is sometimes hard to recognize since they serve the same purpose in a piece like this. 
Really nice and motivic. Cheers!

Very beautiful. Here's a few notes.

Not sure if this is intentional or due to the recording, but the cello is way to quiet. It barely comes out the piano.

You could definitely give the cello a bit more. For instance at 1:27 the cello cuts in with a beautiful high note while the piano accompanies, and for some odd reason, you give the piano the full theme, while the cello is left playing (what sounds to be) half notes. That place in particular it feels like you underutilized the cello considering how right after that the piano has it's big moment around 1:47 (but the cello never really gets it's moment to come out). Another place is where the piano gets solo later at 2:20, after the piano falls back a bit, but the cello is just playing long sustained notes. I feel you could have given it the same moving notes as the right hand piano part has at 2:20 and it would have been much more interesting. This happens again at 3:28. Cello has a scale and a big moment, but there's no 'in-between' notes as it were, to give it intrigue and nuance.

I also think you could use some more contrary motion in the piano and cello part, especially considering the cello is mostly playing long notes (as in: piano goes up, cello goes down, piano goes down, cello goes up) it would give it a bit more variation in tone as it feels like the cello is mostly mirroring the piano (minus all the interesting stuff).

Monarcheon, thanks for the comment! I'm having a hard time understanding what you say about the clash between dominant chord and the subtonic though.

Actually, the only note I know by heart is the C, so I had to make a quick drawing to deduct the chords you were talking about... Yeah my knowledge is that basic.

SebastianViola, thank you for your feedback, it's very insightful! I get every comment you made, all suggestions make lots of sense.

Actually, I felt there was something wrong with the cello but couldn't tell what. You made that all clear :)

I'm almost finished editing it, I'll be posting an updated version soon.

Nizar

Here goes the updated version :)