Approaching Presence

I've been composing for some time now (very incidentally, though) and only until recently did I actually start writing my compositions. Here's one of my newer compositions (ironically the first one that I wrote):

https://musescore.com/user/12518851/scores/2873606

I wanted to make a horror-sounding piece but maybe I didn't quite hit the mark all the time? I don't know, but I liked the result.

Confusing. The beginning wants to introduce a progression, but doesn't allow itself to resolve or build into a ii˚ chord in the slightest. The rest of the piece is very jumpy, while at the same time managing to be quite basic. None of that is inherently bad, but it's not coherent the way you did it. In addition, the basic nature of the keyboard writing (whole notes are kind of the death of pianos at this tempo) decreases the structural coherence through the natural curve of the harmonic envelopes. 
Because of this it takes away from your overall horror-themed message which is the end all be all goal. If you can't hit that, the piece has not done its job.

Hi Alfredo,

I think you've achieved a little of the mood you wanted, but the midi is not doing this piece any favors for starters but that has nothing to do with the writing.  Your piece sounds like with a little work, it could fit into a film, but I would have liked to hear a little more development of the themes you introduce instead of just introducing new themes with none of them really going anywhere.  For cinematic music I think it's a little less important to have huge developments than it would be if you were intending this to be a stand alone piano piece if you know what I mean.  However, for this to be your first composition, I think you obviously have musical skills and you should keep exploring them and see what you can do.

Regards

Mark

3 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

Confusing. The beginning wants to introduce a progression, but doesn't allow itself to resolve or build into a ii˚ chord in the slightest. The rest of the piece is very jumpy, while at the same time managing to be quite basic. None of that is inherently bad, but it's not coherent the way you did it. In addition, the basic nature of the keyboard writing (whole notes are kind of the death of pianos at this tempo) decreases the structural coherence through the natural curve of the harmonic envelopes. 
Because of this it takes away from your overall horror-themed message which is the end all be all goal. If you can't hit that, the piece has not done its job.

Not sure what you're talking about (I'm not versed in harmony). I didn't want to do a progression nor build into a ii°. Not sure what you mean by "jumpy" nor with the coherency. Whole notes are there just to fill the gaps at the beggining, I don't want to go all-out at first and that's why I stay at whole notes.

While the piece is complete and I don't think I will make any changes to it in the future, if I could understand your feedback (which is greatly appreciated) I would take it in count in my next composition!

3 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

 

10 minutes ago, Mark101 said:

Hi Alfredo,

I think you've achieved a little of the mood you wanted, but the midi is not doing this piece any favors for starters but that has nothing to do with the writing.  Your piece sounds like with a little work, it could fit into a film, but I would have liked to hear a little more development of the themes you introduce instead of just introducing new themes with none of them really going anywhere.  For cinematic music I think it's a little less important to have huge developments than it would be if you were intending this to be a stand alone piano piece if you know what I mean.  However, for this to be your first composition, I think you obviously have musical skills and you should keep exploring them and see what you can do.

 

Regards

Mark

 

Hey there, Mark. Thanks for your feedback.

I know the MIDI is not doing it any favors but I don't wanna shell out hundreds of bucks for Finale. The piece is supposed to feel soft as to be unsettling at the beggining but a MIDI will never get you that interpretation.

I wasn't trying to make cinematic music per se, but if I could I WOULD make a short film with this because I have very clear images on my head on what is going on on each part. 

This is not my first composition, it's the first one that I actually wrote, but it IS the first one that I've done in over three years (I dropped music for quite a while). 

Thank you!