Her Emerald Green Eyes

So this is a piece that was originally going to be for string quartet. An opportunity came up to read it through with a string Orchestra and so I wanted to rewrite it for string orchestra. This piece in not long, and it's not difficult. I wanted to capture the emotion of missing someone you've lost and coming to peace with closure. Please tell me what you think of it. Any suggestions and comments would be appreciated 

~Sam 

Nonharmonic tones were not your friend here, specifically in regard to suspensions and retardations. Many of them do not resolve correctly or soundly, for example, the violins in measure 11, start on a 3/4 suspension to do the same thing in inversion in the next beat. A lot of tendency tones don't resolve correctly and the voice leading becomes very awkward because of it. Examples:
9, 11, 12, 13, 21, 28, 31, 36, 37.
Also, basses don't have a low D, unless they have a string extension, which you either need to say in the score, or not include.
Cheers!

I wonder what would happen if you were to repeat the first six bars but start the violins octavo basso the first time.

I think it may add range to your piece/ Your strings stay in the upper tessitura which doesn't give the piece room to build.

The cross voicing in measures 5-6 are unnecessary; switch that.  Measure 33: Can you write that differently in the viola part?

You could easily add more by fugue, stretto, augmentation, etc.  There is much to build.  

More cross voicings in the viola and 2nd violins. It's not MANDATORY you can't cross voice, it should just work if you do.

The harmonic structure can be look at two ways: how about NOT resolving to D at measure 6; what about back to B min or G maj to extend the phrase?

Score aesthetics: always add rehearsal numbers or letters. Your players and the conductors will like you more for that 

It's not a finished product but you have a GREAT start to something that could be 4-5 minutes long easily

Thanks for your feedback! 

@maestrowick 

I have fixed some things since this version. I have switched some of the mechanical things (incorrect beaming and such)

I have fixed the Violins crossing in the first 6 bars. M.33 has been switched to a triplet. 

I'm not sure if i'd really want to add more to the piece. I feel it's a nice short piece and I fear if I add more it'll start to drag on.

@Monarcheon

I am at a loss of what to do with your feedback. 

I have a melody that doesn't resolve correctly, but it's the way I hear it and like it in my head. 

therefore, I ask a question to you; How would you go about fixing this? 

would you change the melody or the chord changes? Or perhaps there is something else that I am not aware could be done. 

Adding in general won't drag if done well.... I want to say Brahmes 4th has a long string orchestra passage that is luscious!  I'll find it for you