Remote - Duet in C#

This piece was originally written on my 6 string guitar in C#. I managed to get a nice sound out of the grand piano in Reason. I am still working on fixing the velocity to give the piano a more realistic and human feel. I love this though, it's fast, energetic, innovative and really a breath of fresh air to write.

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@AgentAbacus thank you for having a listen. Yes, the rhythm is definitely driving in this particular piece and I think you will find this in all of my works. I'm a huge fan of the progressive styles of music that approach chord progressions and leads in general with rhythm in mind.

This piece was actually on two pianos and after listening to your works, they've shed light on some possibilities for me to explore as far as interplay goes. And I'll keep your comments in mind, thank you for your feedback! 

Was that the ending you intended? A VI chord? It's likely not, since you have blank measures, but I'd make sure you know what you're trying to achieve there.
In the part with a lot of repeated notes, there was a lot of clashes. For example, V chords mixing with subtonic instead of leading tones, etc. The drive in that section was also weak. I would rework that section to fill it with a lot more character, since it's kind of working off a cliche.
I hope you didn't intend for this to be played by one piano, because the crossed voices are too many in that case.
I don't get the sense of a real melody. There are exceptions, of course, with some parts of the repeated notes section. I hear events, but I want more than eventful chords.
Good luck!

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@Monarcheon that's quite the cliche response I was expecting from someone like yourself. I'm sorry it's not quite to your liking or adheres to so many rules as you would have liked but every note was intended as was every chord. If you can kindly provide me with an example of this cliched driving section, you mentioned I will consider your criticism. 

As I mentioned it was intended for two instruments. There are two pieces of sheet music in the attachment. 

There's a difference between following the rules and sounding out of place. If you have an G# major chord (G#, B#, D#) and have a melody that uses B natural, it will sound imperfect to the ear. So yes, that's technically a rule, but also clearly doesn't sound right. 
Perhaps you took what I said literally about the cliche. It was meant in terms of the context of your entire piece. Repeated notes on a piano are harsh because the envelope is so percussive, so dynamic contrast/growth and it doesn't generally constitute a melody in and of itself.
I also understand what you're saying about two pianos, but that doesn't change the fact that crossed voices still exist, as that would sonically be represented the same way.

Hope this helps.

We'll agree to disagree but what I've written is sonically sound. I see you have no works posted and are simply a commentator. You should try creative writing some time. Hope this helps. 

She's just trying to help man. 

I agree with Monarcheon as well, especially hearing times when it sounded as if you wanted to introduce a certain melody and take it somewhere with the repeated piano sections. 

Overall, I think two pianos is a really cool idea, but honestly your execution here was off a bit, you know? 

We're not making fun of you, we're all just trying to help you, as a composer, grow further past your high potential.

***I love this though, it's fast, energetic, innovative and really a breath of fresh air to write. ***

Excuse me, but isn't that for us to write? Or not? The objective vs. the subjective opinion? I didn't like this much at all. It could be improved in so many ways, but despite its unplayable tempo it is ponderous and lead footed, lacking in the slightest finesse. It's almost as if you don't care what people think, given your responses. If you know that the dynamics are a problem, why not fix it before posting? Do you leave the house without your pants on?

1 hour ago, Frank Angelo said:

I see you have no works posted

http://www.youngcomposers.com/p16313/monarcheon/?do=content&type=forums_topic&change_section=1

The pseudo intellectualism here is astounding. Step outside of the norm for once. There's a lot of boring works on this forum, not going to lie. And if it can be improved in so many ways, you're entitled to do so. There seems to be a sense of supreme ideology here with little thought to the creator and the approach. 

@Ken320"Excuse me isn't that for us to write"? So you're saying that an artist can't love their work and be happy and enthusiastic with their own art? How dare you all. 

I'll challenge all of you to write an original piece, freestyle and not bound to any rule which you believe is absolute. Engage your creative mind and show me what you've got. 

And @Ken320 if you read my description I mentioned the velocity of the notes that will be changed to resemble real playing ability.  And @LostSamurai I'm far from insecure about my work and creative ability. You dudes and dudettes need to stop hating. Dynamics are secondary to composition. 

It appears we have someone with a sense if grandiosity on our hands. If you intend to hone your skill, improve your mistakes etc. Then you need to stop being so defensive and accept criticism positively.

AS I SAID BEFORE

We are not against you in any way. We KNOW you are a good composer but NO ONE can make a piece sound perfect. You post music here, you're going to get views. When you get views, you may get replies. When you get replies, we're going to openly review your music and constructively give you insight on what you can improve. 

If you don't like it then be gone with you. It's not like we have a shortage of members who actually wants to learn from their mistakes. 

So if you're going to stay in these boards I suggest you eliminate your selfishness, otherwise people are going to ignore your music and would rather listen to all of our "boring" pieces as you put it.

Im glad you all have some energy because it's more than I can say for your works. "Oh dear Harry, how wonderful was that movement?" Quite wonderful indeed," cheers, cheers." Eat a fat Richard 

Your narrative is to attack others works with the underlying notion that it is riddled with flaws and that the author is not convincing enough to simply mean what he or she has composed? In what sense have you been deemed THE be all end all of theory and composition? You completely deflected my point and retreated general talking points.

There is a difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism.

Nevertheless, "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a mans does not submit to hereditary prejudices, but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence and fulfills his duty to express the results of his thought in clear form." 

Also being a self proclaimed guitarist, yourself, you should appreciate my work. All of my work is written in guitar on 6's 7's and 8 strings. You should know by the sheet music, which I doubt you've even looked at. Shall I put the tabliture up to test your skill-set? 

Don't get me wrong, every piece an artist makes is unique to his or her own thoughts and beliefs; there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, so I can understand that part. But dude, when people listen to your music from a third party perspective...we're able to spot flaws that the artist cannot see. 

I mean...I don't know what else to say to convince you that we're all just trying to help. So I suppose I'll just ignore you and your future posts.

I'm just going to say this and leave it be: You are being extremely selfish, childish, acting like narcissistic, entitled, egotistical, belittling, prideful, stubborn and everything else that explains my ex girlfriend's cruel personality.

Oh well later!

You should ignore me because a fundamental aspect you and your collective seem to have forgotten is reflection. Because something does not conform to your biases does not mean it is wrong. 

Frank, there is nothing WRONG with your piece. It's not TERRIBLE, it is not BORING, blah blah I don't even care anymore. 

Peace.

LOL 

Frank, take a deep breath … Ok. my complaint was basically that you didn't do your due diligence before posting. How am I supposed to give your work a fair shake when your MIDi rendering was completely raw? Is it my job to imagine your nuance, if any? Every single note fortissimo. I'm thinking, does this thing go all the way though like this? And it did, so I gave up and gave you a bad review.

You said it yourself that you are working on fixing the velocity. You should have fixed it before posting, is my point. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. You were impatient. The same goes for a monotonous mechanical rhythm. I would say this to anyone here: don't write disclaimers about your music and then expect the listener to fill in the blanks with his or her own imagined nuance, and still get a good review. If you're working with MIDI it's a lot more work than you might be used to. Enough of my pet peeves...

Other members here were positive and constructive about your work, and I hope that you will thank them for it. Deep breath ...

Ken

Yeah, I agree with Ken320, in that you should have fixed the velocity before you posted this. Every note sounds like it's coming at full force.. Hardly any dynamics. Another qualm I have is your use of dissonance. It sounds like you have put it in all of the places that should have been consonant.. if that makes any sense. Good dissonance is hardly noticeable, but it when it sticks out, it really clashes. I think there is good in this music, but the way you have presented it is not very good in my opinion.