Jan Paul Wolff Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (edited) closed Edited January 30, 2019 by Jan Paul Wolff 1 Quote
Monarcheon Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Lead into big section one was abrupt. :53, iv/minor one chord is off putting. Wanted the double stroke part to lead to a high point. 1:26, the pedal held tone in horn is weird... 2:25, again very abrupt lead into your big C minor section. Awkward ending. Needs more support on the tonic. Good! :) I'd go a little further with it. Quote
Seni-G Posted March 24, 2017 Posted March 24, 2017 I really enjoyed this! I thought at first it was going to be more like background music at the beginning of Pirates of the Caribbean, but you take it in interesting directions. I appreciate your use of dynamics, and the feeling that the piece isn't in a rush to lay out it's main ideas. You lead the listener there gradually. Nice build-ups of sound followed by changes of mood. I also enjoy how you play with the chord progression to change the mood. You don't just repeat the same idea over and over, but instead warp it in subtle ways. Nice work. Portraying the sea in a new way is challenging because so many people have done it. Here's my advice: expand this piece! The ending was quite abrupt, as if you said, "well that's good enough, I'll just cut it off here". But the story arc didn't feel complete. This is a compliment to you. You got me interested and wanting more! Take it in further and give us more of the story. What else can you tell us about this fisherman, and how can you do it in a new way, a way that keeps the main ideas you've already laid out, but challenges the ear with new sounds and directions? It seems that you've established that this seaman is on an adventure. So what happens next? Quote
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