La Metra

Hey All!

Had this one for a month or two and I'm stuck. It depicts my first train experience recently, on the metra into Chicago, and on the El-Train in Chicago. Needless to say it was super cool and I can't wait to do it again!

Some things I'm pleased with: the rhythmic piano and rhythmic string ideas, the themes and ideas themselves

Things I'd love feedback about improving: transitioning between themes and styles more smoothly.

Enjoy, and thanks for listening :)

p.s. please ignore the "Snare Drum" sound at 0:23 or so... Yay Sibelius sounds!

Great opening. Easy thing for strings to use ricochet and the whole thing leads itself to a good buildup. But I don't think I ever got it. I never really hear a final destination or a peak anywhere, which is a shame since its such a good buildup. For example, I think the end section is the weakest part since it calms the listener down before any high point, not to mention that I think it lasts a little too long for what you're trying to convey.
Side note: measure 83 is a tonal mess; I'd fix that.
It has a lot of potential, and you don't really have to change anything, in my opinion. The long notes can come back in chord form another time under some really fast and lightning string and percussion stuff as the peak of the ride, kind of like the Young Person's Guide to the Orchestra fugue (I love that fugue!).

I think you could REALLY benefit from using metric modulation instead of all of these gradual tempo changes. Spring a different energy onto your listeners while never really changing tempo. I think the mechanical aspect of it is a really good buildup tool (maybe as the engine is slowing down a rit would be okay). Experiment with it! :)

Really great stuff here, I guess I just want more of it!

YES! Thank you for these comments, they have put into words the things which eluded me!

I'll take a stab at these and may upload the changes after I have ae chance to give it a proper ending--arriving at the station, so to speak.

Thanks,

Gustav Johnson