Martim Manuel Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 Hello, I would like to share with you a short piece I composed about the train stations in my country. The first measure right hand is the melody used in the station to alert people that a train is arriving, so that's why it's about a train station I would aprecciate very much your feedback, dont stick too much with the "train station" theme, it's just to give a title to the music! Quote
Monarcheon Posted March 9, 2017 Posted March 9, 2017 Pretty good as it is, I think... though I would resist to use so much sixteenth note work unless it's motivic, and a lot of it seems for the sake of tempo, which can be good! Just not too much maybe. Your 3/4 stuff starting m. 48... maybe it would be better in 6/8 just looking at how it's written and how it sounds. There's no triple meter the way I see it. Maybe don't use block triads in the left hand as much. Find a way to integrate it better with the right hand. Also, more dynamic contrast! Even if it is supposed to be loud the whole way through, things can ebb and flow. More articulation markings, crescendos, etc... Use cross staff voicing for your triplets when they get really low. The triplets, by the way, obscure the beat a little bit. not sure if that's what you wanted, but they do. Cheers! 1 Quote
Luis Hernández Posted March 12, 2017 Posted March 12, 2017 I think that this work is much modern that it seems to be. What makes it sound (to me) like baroque-classic is the lack of dynamic contrasts and the, not always, but often presence of 8's and 16's... I mean, variation in the pattern with rests or other techniques. In fact it's the same MOnarcheon told you before. Anyvay, it's very nice! 1 Quote
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