The Ghost (Opus 23)

Hello fellow composers! I'm leaving you with my newest composition - Th Ghost. It is written for piano, small string ensemble, synthesizers, and harp. I literally have no idea what I was thinking when I was writing this piece. I've never used that much dissonance or vague tonality. Partially I wanted to step back from the usual canon patterns that I tend to follow and do something unconventional. At least I've tried. It is a mostly thematic piece.

I also had problems with mixing and changing dynamics/panning/EQ - I absolutely hate Logic standard pizzicato strings... Anyways, thank you for listening, and hope you enjoy this small piece just a little bit.

Good work! You used the instrumentation very well and created quite a few different textures that I thought were very effective. I was surprised by the relative elegance with which you used the glockenspiel-esque synth patch. When I read that you included a synth, I was expecting it to be overbearing, but I think you found a good balance, so congratulations on that.

A couple of criticisms: I think the piece could use a little more harmonic direction in the main section. The left hand of the piano seems to repeat an Alberti bass on the same chord for quite a long time, and I think it needs a little more variation. At 3:20, I think I hear a very quick figuration for violin pizzicato. I can't say for sure, but I get an instinctive feeling that that would be murder for the player unless it was constructed very carefully. 

14 hours ago, fishyfry said:

 

A couple of criticisms: I think the piece could use a little more harmonic direction in the main section. The left hand of the piano seems to repeat an Alberti bass on the same chord for quite a long time, and I think it needs a little more variation. At 3:20, I think I hear a very quick figuration for violin pizzicato. I can't say for sure, but I get an instinctive feeling that that would be murder for the player unless it was constructed very carefully. 

 

Thank you for listening and a meaningful comment! Yes, I know that the harmonic part is very repetitive, and I don't know how I did it, but the piece ended to be highly based on only few chords following same patterns.

Knowing my employment of awkward pianistic figures to any instrument I work with, I'll shift that figurative element to maybe synthesizer or delete it (I'm still working on the score for this). 

In addition to fishyfry's comments, I would say that the sections could use some more meat in them. It's thematic, yes, but that doesn't mean that the sections need to be underdeveloped. Each one has promise, and I'd like to see you go further with those.
Transitions and connective fibers might also help. Atmosphere shifts are very powerful but lose their impact when done without explanation too many times. Your timbre and tone shifts between sections don't connect the piece enough for me.
3:51 was way too awkward harmonically for me... that might need fixing.
Harmonic treatment was quite nice for not knowing what to do... tip: establishing a tonic and dancing around the defining tones with perfect intervals is a great way to stay ambiguous.
Cheers!

12 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

In addition to fishyfry's comments, I would say that the sections could use some more meat in them. It's thematic, yes, but that doesn't mean that the sections need to be underdeveloped. Each one has promise, and I'd like to see you go further with those.
 

 

Thank you for listenig and some tips to improve my work. I just wanted to know what exactly do you mean by saying that the motifs are "undeveloped". When writing this piece, I had exactly the opposite type of impression, as I felt that the themes are way too long and repetitive, so I always hurried to the next idea. What would you recommend to make them more definite? Except applying authentic or plagal cadences, I don't want to stick to the well known patterns too often.

39 minutes ago, Lilac Lucrezia said:

as I felt that the themes are way too long and repetitive, so I always hurried to the next idea.

I kind of mean this, but more in reference to your vertical sections, rather than your horizontal melodies. It feels segmented, if that makes more sense. It feels like each section does its own thing, then moves on in a very short span of time, which is jarring to the listener. You can hear the tone noticeably change.
The melodies are so ranged in the beginning that you would almost have to incorporate pitch sets to make "motivic" as it stands, so don't worry so much about that. I do think you hurry to the next idea though, but not because you're taking too long, but because you're not giving enough time.

On 12.03.2017 at 1:32 PM, Monarcheon said:

I kind of mean this, but more in reference to your vertical sections, rather than your horizontal melodies. It feels segmented, if that makes more sense. It feels like each section does its own thing, then moves on in a very short span of time, which is jarring to the listener. You can hear the tone noticeably change.
The melodies are so ranged in the beginning that you would almost have to incorporate pitch sets to make "motivic" as it stands, so don't worry so much about that. I do think you hurry to the next idea though, but not because you're taking too long, but because you're not giving enough time.

 

Thank you for clarifying. 

The beginning isn't working for me. The piano is too low. Maybe this is just my opinion, but I think it sounds a little harsh, like a young child walking up to a piano and banging on the keyboard. After getting past the beginning, I really enjoy this piece, especially the runs in 3:20 and then the return to the main theme. Good use of instrumentation. I think that with a few adjustments, like the others have already said, this could become a very good piece.

On 18.03.2017 at 2:36 PM, bassoongirl123 said:

 The piano is too low. 

 

Sorry, but this is my personal preference, I am highly attached to low sounds. And as an artist, I think that a composition (like any other pieces of art) should be a loud manifesto of the combination of author's personality, imagination, and taste. Thank you for listening.