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Posted

Jump into the main C minor portion was really abrupt. Even a short suspended cymbal or reverse envelope bell tone will do to support its entrance.
In piece like this, normally, the piano is left as an emotional callback to a theme near the end, because of its connotations. I'm not saying where you put it in is wrong, but it threw me off guard.
Speaking of, sometimes your piano notes aren't synched properly, mostly the first note.
You jump between characters a lot, and to me, it creates a really inconsistent narrative that becomes more distracting than I can get invested in it. It got better as it went along except for around 2:30 (the drop-off was fine, but I don't feel impact because there wasn't a lead into from anything), but it's just not smooth how it is now.
Chord treatment was okay, since you used chord substitutions.
Hope this helps you.

 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

It feels like music that belongs with a visual, like a chase scene from an action film. I think you've got a talent for that cinematic sound, and I'm curious to see what else you have written. I like the alternation between the soft piano portions and the percussive material, and your orchestration sounds very balanced and natural. Nice use of dynamics. As it stands now, the piece feels like a scene, and when the scene is over the music ends. I'm not sure the music can stand alone without the image. If you were to develop the themes more fully, allow a theme to take center stage, this piece might have more of an identity. The music is pleasant and sets a mood, but does it stand out as a piece of "art"? Does it have something to say? What else could that photograph convey, and how else could that music portray that? Could you expand the piece so it explores more than one mood, could you develop your themes? I suppose it all comes down to intention. Are you aiming for cinematic music or music that can stand alone? Do you want to capture one single mood, or write music that takes the listener on a journey? You've clearly got talent. Can you use it to create something with more depth, something that makes the listener FEEL what's in that photograph?

This is all very fluffy commentary, based more on a vibe I got rather than anything concrete. Feel free to disregard if I'm off base.

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