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Posted

Hello,

Is there a place here for foreign composers ? I'm Bielka and I come from Paris, France.

I composed some french songs talking about, life, happiness, love etc. But today, I want to share with you this new song : la rencontre (the encounter)
So tell me, what do you think about it? Please let me know. And share if you like it.

 

You can listen and follow me here :
on Youtube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcZqCDfr8fUkN1UBLTqbzcA 
or on facebook : https://www.facebook.com/Bielka-Music-1368356019843598/

Posted (edited)

Very nice! I listened to it twice. I like your songwriting style. Do you have an English translation of your lyrics?

A couple of criticisms: 1) your guitar volume may have been a bit too high, and 2) I think you could have used an instrumental solo in the middle section (around 1:00 or so) to add a nice contrast to your voice. Something like a trumpet or saxophone would be great, or even a piano or distorted guitar. This could also add to the length of the song, which would be great, because it was over too soon! 

Well done; I hope you post more here. 

Edited by Noah Brode
Typo
Posted

1. Timbre between the instruments (+backups) vs. the voice was off to me. Didn't blend very well.
2. I was a little off put but the use of the minor v chord back to the minor tonic, but it works decently well.
3. Ending felt abrupt to me. Since you work in 8 bar phrases, to end it on one that's only four felt strange.
4. I liked Noah's idea of increasing the instrumentation in a certain part with a solo or polyphonic accompaniment. Gives more of a feeling of an arc too, which I felt this song lacked a little bit.
It's certainly quite nice. Cheers!

Posted

Hello. Sorry for my aproximative english... I'm glad you took time to listen and make some comments even if I don't understand everything very clearly I admit :) But I think I got the most of it. 

It's a good idea to add something in the middle of the song. I'll think about it.

I don't have the translation no but I can tell you what this is about. It's about love at first sight. A girl looking for love who meets a boy in the street. And she wonders if that's the one she will share her life with or not. And shes says that she has all her life to get to know this man that she really likes. A love song as you can see :-)

I'm happy if you enjoyed it even if it needs to be improved. I will post other stuff later on. Bye

Posted

Hi Bielka:

You have a beautiful voice.  I agree with Noah's comments..  Monarcheon's comment about background singing getting lost with guitar is very valid..  Perhaps, make the guitar rhythm notes, not 'ring out' so long.. Play them a little more 'muffled', or 'muted' sounding.. Did you try having the singing background part, an octave higher;..   The song is very nice.  Where you end it now, seems too short..  a solo of something then one more round of a verse, and then use the intro again, as an outro might round it out very nicely.. 

Good work,   and welcome here.. 

Posted

Thank you all for this warm welcome. I'm really happy I found this forum as I got some good advises. 

I found out how to add subtitles on you tube so I created (aproximative) english subtitles to the song. To see the subtitles just click on the word subtitles on the video

 

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