Andante for Strings

This is a short work that I have prepared mainly to improve my notation for string instruments, including understanding slurs and bowings better. Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Thanks for listening!

m. 6: Why drop the viola? Makes the next cello phrase sound lonely in comparison. Even half notes would keep the polyphony/homophony going.
reh. A-B: Really awkward sounding to me, just in the chord changes. I'm not really sure what's going on but there's a psuedo 6/4 resolution in m. 2 of it, etc. etc. It's just a weird way to transition, especially since it doesn't come back.
reh. C: I think you can really expand the sound of this... more mid/high tones would help enrich it a lot. There's a bit of a spacing thing here.
mm. 70 - reh. G: Playing a lot with the tonic here and resolving in places I think could be stretched out a little more. 
reh. G: No violinist is going to like tremoloing for that long.
Ending: A little strange to end on the fourth bar of a phrase but it works okay.

It's a great motif you're working with here and I think you, generally, execute it very well. It transfers and is put in different contexts. It sounds a little bit stilted right now, due to some episodic layouts that I see, but it flows okay too. The problem with shorter, non-cyclical chord progressions is that it's really hard to build drama if everything keeps cadencing or finding a way to return. Your melody has a fifth jump in it... there a lot of ways to build drama with that.

Good work!

Hello Noah,

I like how you develop the theme.
Unfortunately, I cannot give you any feedback other than that it looks good. 

The music is very drammatic and fluent.
However, there are places where this fluency is disrupted by chords, which I think, shouldn't be there.
For me chords such as in m.19 sound unnatural.

To be honest, I actually don't understand the style you are writing in. Some parts are very classical and others are almost avant garde.

Two little tips!
- You spell the copyright at the bottom of the score with (c), but with alt gr + c you may get the original © sign.
- I suppose you use MuseScore, because I hear the odd crescendi and other dynamics. When using these changing dynamics like crescendi and diminuendi, use invisible dynamics (click the dynamic and press v) to make the changes smoother. For example:

Now I read my critique it appears that I have more negative than positive points on your piece, but I did enjoy it and you can be proud of it!

Best wishes,

Maarten

15 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

reh. A-B: Really awkward sounding to me, just in the chord changes. I'm not really sure what's going on but there's a psuedo 6/4 resolution in m. 2 of it, etc. etc. It's just a weird way to transition, especially since it doesn't come back.

Yeah, this part has to go. I was trying to morph the first theme smoothly into the second, but it didn't really work. I'm also on the fence about the entire second theme, tbh. 

15 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

reh. C: I think you can really expand the sound of this... more mid/high tones would help enrich it a lot. There's a bit of a spacing thing here.

Do you think some more counterpoint in the viola would help?

15 hours ago, Monarcheon said:

reh. G: No violinist is going to like tremoloing for that long.

Yeah, it's boring. I may just replace the tremolo with the original violin accompaniment before reh. A. 

I'll try to develop this one a bit more; maybe a development section will help. I think the second theme is kind of boring too. It's good to hear confirmation of some things I was already rethinking. Thanks for the critique!

2 hours ago, Maarten Bauer said:

I suppose you use MuseScore, because I hear the odd crescendi and other dynamics. When using these changing dynamics like crescendi and diminuendi, use invisible dynamics (click the dynamic and press v) to make the changes smoother.

I just updated it, so I finally now have the capability to use the "cresc. _ _ _" lines. Would you say it's preferable to always use the "cresc." marking (rather than hairpins) for crescendoes longer than one measure? 

Yeah, the whole "A" section (including m. 19) should be replaced, because it's awkward. 

You're right about the style being not strictly classical, but I'm okay with that. 

Thanks for the feedback! 

35 minutes ago, Noah Brode said:

I just updated it, so I finally now have the capability to use the "cresc. _ _ _" lines. Would you say it's preferable to always use the "cresc." marking (rather than hairpins) for crescendoes longer than one measure? 

Yeah, the whole "A" section (including m. 19) should be replaced, because it's awkward. 

You're right about the style being not strictly classical, but I'm okay with that. 

Thanks for the feedback! 

 

About the crescendi:

I use both hairpins and abbreviations. I think it rather depends on how big the hairpin is and not on the length of measures, because measures themselves can differ in length.
For example: a 2/4 measure will generally be shorter than a 12/8 measure:

If it the hairpin is too big, you should use the cresc. and dim., but big is a relative word.
You have to decide when a hairpin is too big.

Hope this helps!

Maarten

1 hour ago, Maarten Bauer said:

You have to decide when a hairpin is too big.

Haha, that's really a matter of how dumb you think your performers are. If they can't grasp the fact you want a cresendo lasting 16 bars even with some diminuendos in it, then you're too far gone as a performer, in my opinion.
Hairpins are great when you really need a performer to REALLY get the idea it's growing, since it's visual, depicting exactly what wants to be performed. 

2 hours ago, Noah Brode said:

Do you think some more counterpoint in the viola would help?

Not necessarily. If you played this on piano right now you would see that there's a pretty big gap in the upper register. I'd just recommend filling it. 

2 hours ago, Noah Brode said:

Yeah, it's boring. I may just replace the tremolo with the original violin accompaniment before reh. A. 

Haha, if you want. Film score players will be used to it. However, something to keep in mind is that a performer won't mind what's written as long as:
a. The rest of the orchestra sounds amazing, because it really makes them feel like a part of it regardless>
b. It looks like you took the time to make their parts seem important with markings.
Just some performer psychology for you. Some of the most useful advice I was given.