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Very good first attempt!
When the left hand takes over the melody the first time, it might behoove you to have something more interesting or at least similarly so in the right hand. The reason for this is that the sudden lack of texture while ironically call attention to it, which it shouldn't, since it isn't the melody.
Parallel passages are generally okay.
Transition to Bb minor was really cool, actually. Good job.
However, the Fm -> Abm -> Bm transition was substantially more awkward. Focus on common chord modulations rather than common tone modulations.
The bigger section at around 1:20 or so was kind of strange just having the left hand be so powerful without much backup in the right.
Nothing's better than experience with an instrument for composition. Good work so far.

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